1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

"Who's On First", Computer Style

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by tripwire45, Jul 11, 2005.

  1. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

    13,493
    179
    287
    This was probably posted here before but it is a classic.

    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today Bud Abbott and Lou
    Costello's infamous sketch "Who's on first?" might have turned out
    something
    like this:



    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT



    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?






    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
    thinking about
    buying a computer.


    ABBOTT: Mac?


    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.


    ABBOTT: Your computer?


    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


    ABBOTT: Mac?


    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.


    ABBOTT: What about Windows?


    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?


    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?


    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?


    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.


    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.


    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?


    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
    proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?


    ABBOTT: Office.


    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?


    ABBOTT: I just did.


    COSTELLO: You just did what?


    ABBOTT: Recommend something.


    COSTELLO: You recommended something?


    ABBOTT: Yes.


    COSTELLO: For my office?


    ABBOTT: Yes.


    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?


    ABBOTT: Office.


    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!


    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.


    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say
    I'm
    sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
    need?


    ABBOTT: Word.


    COSTELLO: What word?


    ABBOTT: Word in Office.


    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.


    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.


    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?


    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".


    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
    some
    straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the
    Internet?


    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.


    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
    your
    business. Just tell me what I need!


    ABBOTT: Real One.


    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can
    I watch
    them?


    ABBOTT: Of course.


    COSTELLO: Great! With what?


    ABBOTT: Real One.


    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What
    do I do?


    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".


    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?


    ABBOTT: The blue "1".


    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?


    ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.


    COSTELLO: What word?


    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.


    COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!


    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.


    COSTELLO: It is?


    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
    pretty
    much wiped out all the other Words out there.


    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?


    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even
    part of
    Office.


    COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
    bookkeeping?
    You have anything I can track my money with?


    ABBOTT: Money.


    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?


    ABBOTT: Money.


    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?


    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.


    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?


    ABBOTT: Money.


    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?


    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.


    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?


    ABBOTT: One copy.


    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?


    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.


    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


    A FEW DAYS LATER . .


    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?


    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?


    ABBOTT: Click on "START".......
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  2. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

    5,726
    175
    221
    Haha its rather coincidental
    i have never seen Rain Man but I just read the Wiki article about it and it mentions this sketch a few times :)
    like, less than 30 mins ago!! spooky
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCITP, VCP
    WIP: > 0
  3. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

    13,493
    179
    287
    The original "Who's On First" is one of the most amazing pieces of classic humor ever. If you've never seen it, I highly recommend that you do. It is probably one of the funniest bits of all time. :biggrin
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  4. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    9,915
    60
    229
    Quality ! :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity

Share This Page

Loading...