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The 10 most dangerous species of IT manager

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by nugget, Aug 19, 2004.

  1. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

    The 10 most dangerous species of IT manager

    August 13, 2004
    Jeff Dray

    From the wilds of the IT jungles, TechRepublic columnist Jeff Dray documents the 10 most dangerous species of IT manager. Find out if you or your manager fit into the genus he describes.

    My present manager is a true gentleman in every sense of the word and even buys me breakfast on occasion. However, in my travels through the wilds of the information technology field, I have come across many different species of IT manager. All are from the genus 'Procurator' and are very dangerous in captivity. Some are now on the World Wildlife Federation's At Risk Register. However, there will certainly be no captive breeding program to preserve them as most would be overjoyed if they disappeared from the Earth.

    To help classify these dangerous breeds, I've created the following list of species and character descriptions of some common types of managers. These types are loosely based on some managers I have worked for over the years. As ever, this classification should be taken with a large pinch of salt.

    Species one: Procurator Martyrus

    Also known as: The "Anything for the good of the company" Manager

    This species has a distinctive cry that sounds like this:

    "Look at me! I worked Christmas day and even when I had cholera. I walked to the office for six weeks after my car crash, even though both my legs were broken. Why can't you stay another hour each night without pay? I would."

    Yes, the office martyr has finally made it to the top, probably because it's the only place where he can't do any harm.

    There is a tradition in the British Civil Service of promoting those workers whose incompetence seriously affects the performance of a department. Many such appointees are members of the P. Martyrus group.

    P. Martyrus is closely related to the next species, Procurator IlligitimusMaximus.

    Species two: Procurator IlligitimusMaximus

    Also known as: The Mean and Nasty Manager

    This manager is of the old school, a right scoundrel. His idea of being a good manager is to be unapproachable or, in his words, "hard but fair." He is neither. He got his present position by hanging on to the coattails of his manager until retirement, or a nasty accident left the position open. Thankfully this is now a severely endangered species.

    After sacking a member of the team, he might be heard to say: "I had to let him go; he wasn't showing the right level of commitment. He preferred to go to his mother's funeral rather than come to work. What do they think we're running here? A holiday camp?"

    He will turn to the shocked and silenced office and shout: "Anyone else here got any doubts about their loyalty?"

    The problem with IlligitimusMaximus is that one day he will make a mistake himself. When he looks to the team to help him out of his difficulty, they will remember past actions and develop a selective deafness to his pleas. His is a lonely path, and for him there is no safe haven.

    Found on TechRepublic.com . For the rest (very long) go here.
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