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Some IT Jokes

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by adnanz, Jan 25, 2007.

  1. adnanz

    adnanz New Member

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    1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

    Customer "Ok."

    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

    Customer: "No."

    Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

    Customer "No."

    Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
    this point?"

    Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

    --------------------------------------------------
    A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that
    his computer is faulty.

    Tech: What's the problem?

    User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

    Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

    User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

    Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

    User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
    and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
    command.

    10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
    is frustrated and fed up.

    Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
    is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

    User: I knew it!

    Tech: Just add the line LOAD <http://nosmoke.com/> NOSMOKE.COM at the
    end of the CONFIG.SYS.

    Letme know how it goes.

    10 minutes later.

    User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

    Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

    User: MS-DOS 6.22.

    Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
    NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
    the file. Let me know how it goes.

    1 hour later.
    User: I need a new power supply.
    Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

    User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
    started asking questions about the make of power supply.

    Tech: Then what did he say?

    User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
    --------------------------------------------------------
    Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
    getting the same error message."

    Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

    Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
    --------------------------------------------------
    Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

    Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

    Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

    Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

    Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

    Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

    Customer:: "What?"

    Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

    Customer: "No..."

    Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
    canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
    --------------------------------------------------

    Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"

    Customer:: "A white one."

    --------------------------------------------------

    Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

    Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

    --------------------------------------------------

    Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

    Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery
    store."
    --------------------------------------------------

    Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"

    Customer: "Pentium."

    -------------------------------------------------

    Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
    print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

    Tech Support: "What does it say?"

    Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

    Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

    Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

    --------------------------------------------------

    Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
    24 hours."

    Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

    --------------------------------------------------

    Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

    Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

    Tech Support:: "Well?"

    Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
    --------------------------------------------------

    Customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?

    Customer: sure

    Customer care officer: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

    Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
    .....................................................................................

    hey guys leme know if u like it. :D
     
  2. Kraven

    Kraven Kilobyte Poster

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    I've actually heard stories from friends who work on tech support similar to these. That's why I refuse to work at a call centre. But they are funny! :D
     
    Certifications: Network+, MCSA, 70-680
    WIP: A+, 70-685
  3. Sparky
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    Sparky Zettabyte Poster Moderator

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    LOL, working at a call centre can be the first stepping stone in IT mate, dont dismiss it :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MSc MCSE MCSA:M MCSA:S MCITP:EA MCTS(x5) Security+ Network+ A+
    WIP: Exchange 2007\2010
  4. Raffaz

    Raffaz Kebab Lover Gold Member

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    Love the PSU one :)
     
    Certifications: A+, MCP, MCDST, AutoCAD
    WIP: Rennovating my house
  5. BosonMichael
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    BosonMichael Yottabyte Poster

    19,136
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    Quoted for Truth.
     
    Certifications: CISSP, MCSE+I, MCSE: Security, MCSE: Messaging, MCDST, MCDBA, MCTS, OCP, CCNP, CCDP, CCNA Security, CCNA Voice, CNE, SCSA, Security+, Linux+, Server+, Network+, A+
    WIP: Just about everything!

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