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Rugby Jokes

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by zimbo, Oct 27, 2005.

  1. zimbo
    Honorary Member

    zimbo Petabyte Poster

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    Traveling in a train were a Wallaby, an All Black, a spectacular looking blonde and an older lady. After several minutes of the trip, the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Wallaby had a big red slap mark on his cheek.


    (1) The blonde thought - "That horrible Wallaby wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the lady, who in turn must have slapped his face."
    (2) The older lady thought - "This dirty Wallaby laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him."
    (3) The Wallaby thought - "That bloody All Black put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me."
    (4) The All Black thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid Wallaby again."



    An Australian schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a Wallabies fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Wallabies fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Wallabies fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Wallabies fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am an All Blacks fan, and proud of it," Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why are you an All Blacks fan?" "Because my mum is an All Blacks fan, and my dad is an All Blacks fan, so I'm an All Blacks fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be an All Blacks fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum were a moron and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?" "Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Wallabies fan."





    Clive Woodward is curious to find out how Graham Henry has turned around the fortunes of the Welsh team so quickly, so he decides to go to Cardiff and see how Graham Henry coaches his team. After a day he is not really impressed by the training routines so he asks Henry how he manages to get his players so sharp.

    "Well it is simple. I sometimes ask my players a difficult question, and that way they stay really sharp mentally".

    Of course Clive wants an example, so Graham asks Robert Howley to come over to the touchline. Graham asks him: "Robert, answer this question…..he is not your brother, but still he is your father's son. Who is he?". "That's easy", Robert answers immediately, "Of course, it's me". "You see? That's the way you keep them sharp", Henry says to Woodward.

    Woodward, keen to take this on board decides to bring this into the next England squad session. He calls Jason Leonard over to the touchline. “Jason, answer this question”, he says, “He is not your brother, but he is still your father's son, who is he?” “Bleedin' 'ell" says Jason, "That's a tough one to answer. Can I sleep on it tonight and tell you in the morning". "OK", says Clive. "Anyway", continues Jason, "why have you asked me the question?". Clive explains it has to do with some New Zealand coaching method.

    So that night, unable to answer the question, Jason has a bright idea and decides to phone his club coach Zinzan Brook and ask him for the answer; he's from New Zealand, so he's bound to know. “Zinzan, can you help me with the answer to this question ... he is not your brother, but he is still your father's son. Who is he?”. “That's easy, it's me!”, says Zinzan.

    So the next day Jason walks full of confidence into training. Clive sees him and asks "OK, Jason do you know the answer to my question now?". "Of course, it was pretty easy really”, he says “It's Zinzan Brook". "Don't be so bloody stupid" said Woodward, "It's Robert Howley"
     
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  2. Jakamoko
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    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Bloody marvellous, zimbo - sent directly to my Kiwi friends !!! :biggrin

    Not so sure that 2 of our Moderators are gonna be so happy with you when they see these tho .........:blink
     
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  3. AJ

    AJ Administrator Administrator

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    First class :thumbleft
     
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  4. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

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    Has this got something to do with sport and physical exercise?
    Why are you posting it on an IT forum?


    :twisted:
     
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  5. Jakamoko
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    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    FFS - are you a wallaby ? To take the p1ss out the Aussies, m8 :biggrin
     
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  6. Bluerinse
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    Bluerinse Exabyte Poster

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    It's absolutely fine by me :D

    I get enough stick for being a Pom, so I need as much ammo as I can get :eek:

    Very funny btw
     
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  7. ffreeloader

    ffreeloader Terabyte Poster

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    LOL. I've heard this one for years as a Sven and Oly joke.
     
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  8. nugget
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    nugget Junior toady

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    Zimbo's just upset that the Wallabies are a kick-@ss team and the South Africans......well.....aren't.:biggrin j/K

    Hey Zimbo, did you know that there are only 2 kinds of people in the world, those that are Aussies and those that want to be.8)
     
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  9. zimbo
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    zimbo Petabyte Poster

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    HEHEHEHE i know!! Oz has had a high finflux for zimbo's,south africans etc wanting to go there!!

    OH and btw guys... i dont support the boks... im an english fan too bad no more rob andrews or will carling or jeremey gusgott :( those guys were good!! IMHO better than mr johhny!
     
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  10. Bluerinse
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    Bluerinse Exabyte Poster

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    I can understand that, this is a brilliant place, you should all come over :biggrin
     
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  11. AJ

    AJ Administrator Administrator

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    That sound like an invite guys !!!

    Party at Pete's place

    What better place to hace the CF get together 8)
     
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  12. zimbo
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    zimbo Petabyte Poster

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    fine by me!! will there be any fosters involved?? :morebeer
     
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  13. Bluerinse
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    Bluerinse Exabyte Poster

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    Oh yes and more, VBs Aussie red and the best eye fillet you could imagine and thats without mentioning Morton Bay Bugs :D Don't dilly dally 8)
     
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  14. moominboy

    moominboy Gigabyte Poster

    surely you meant the above nugget? lol! :tongue

    oh, and superb jokes zimbo! :thumbleft
     
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