Paddy and Mick

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Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and
most of the night celebrating Ireland's draw with Germany during
the World Cup.

Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking anymore
tonight,Paddy"
Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Paddy spins
around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts
himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.
"Shoite, Shoite!" He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he
can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He
sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels
much better and takes a step out onto the pavement. He falls flat
on his face.
Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says. He can see his house
just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the door
frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and
says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and
says "I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls
flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a
cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?".
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' p*ssed. But how'd you
know?"
Jess says "Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub." 2

 

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he he he...!!

Shouldnt really laugh i guess but still funny!

 

A cracker..

 

Sick but hilarious, Nugg - one of your better ones there

 

Gotta do something to get my clown crown back.

 

Crown re-issued Nugget!