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Need urgent help

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by JonGlory, Jun 23, 2008.

  1. JonGlory

    JonGlory Byte Poster

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    Dear Technical Support,


    18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any
    trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and
    run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several
    other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend
    proved no better.

    I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut
    down completely for several weeks.

    Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these
    two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0,
    only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all
    my available resources, it does come bundled with CookingPlus and Cleanhouse2008.

    Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any
    mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced
    months later when I had forgotten about them.

    Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop
    and Multi-Whinge.

    These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

    Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments
    and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

    Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

    Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

    Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2007, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted
    me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2007, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling
    itself. Help requested please!

    ---------------------------------
    And the flip side...

    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall
    performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention
    6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
    problems, to no avail.

    What can I do?
    Signed,

    Desperate


    ---------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Desperate:

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.


    Try entering the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt
    3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery
    2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
    Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.


    WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

    CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash
    Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications
    quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend
    Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck,


    Tech Support
     
    WIP: LIFE
  2. Mof

    Mof Megabyte Poster

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    try installing candle party 0.6 to run at the same time as football 5.0 this should fix problem hope it helps
     
    WIP: C++ and A+
  3. greenbrucelee
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    greenbrucelee Zettabyte Poster

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    ha ha lol :D

    What about installing them with midnight orgy 4.4 :)
     
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  4. UCHEEKYMONKEY
    Honorary Member

    UCHEEKYMONKEY R.I.P - gone but never forgotten. Gold Member

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    LOL :lol::clap
     
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  5. TimoftheC

    TimoftheC Kilobyte Poster

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    Hilarious - that's going round the office:biggrin
     
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  6. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    They should have escalated it to Second Line support. In my experience, extra applications only make the overall running of the system more complex.

    Simply threaten to terminate your servicing contract. That normally clears things right up.
     
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  7. Mitzs
    Honorary Member

    Mitzs Ducktape Goddess

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    LMAO! I have found that to be greatly successfull in my 19 yrs of cohabation.
    :twisted:
     
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  8. twizzle

    twizzle Gigabyte Poster

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    Terminating my service conract wont work with me... cause i'm a man and we can DIY! Or if we're very lucky, we can always go out and find new service staff!

    (Mind you with the costs of running, and taking into account depreciation, sometimes its not worth it. Might as well stick with the old boiler as its tried and tested!) :twisted:
     
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  9. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    If you're fed up with your 'old boiler' why don't you try some patches?

    Men tend to like Breast Enhancements 36.C but I think women of a certain age would prefer Botox Application 2.0

    tee hee :rolleyes:
     
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  10. Mitzs
    Honorary Member

    Mitzs Ducktape Goddess

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    :ohmy Botox Evil! :duel
     
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  11. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    lol thought you'd love it darlin' :tongue
     
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  12. Mitzs
    Honorary Member

    Mitzs Ducktape Goddess

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    8) Don't make me duck tape your boots togather missy.

    I would never do something like that. I have earned my laugh lines and I am not afraid of growing older. Now my hair aging would be another matter. :biggrin
     
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  13. BosonMichael
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    BosonMichael Yottabyte Poster

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    Ew, plastic. :sickR I prefer natural ones of any size, thankyewverymuch.
     
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    WIP: Just about everything!

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