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Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Raffaz, Mar 21, 2007.

  1. Raffaz

    Raffaz Kebab Lover Gold Member

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
    We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,"That's fine,honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I thinkthis is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
    baffled,"WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
    Certifications: A+, MCP, MCDST, AutoCAD
    WIP: Rennovating my house
  2. mondos

    mondos Kilobyte Poster

    Love it :thumbleft.
    Certifications: A+
    WIP: N+, MCDST and finding a job!
  3. Headache

    Headache Gigabyte Poster

    Ha !

    Never go shopping with the missus. Rule numbero uno. Not unless you have a taste for boredom, injected with liberal amounts of aggravation. I learnt that a long long time ago.
    Certifications: CCNA
  4. nXPLOSi

    nXPLOSi Terabyte Poster

    LOL, thats brilliant, going to have to email that to the misses :D
    Certifications: A+, Network+, Security+, MCSA 2003 (270, 290, 291), MCTS (640, 642), MCSA 2008
    WIP: MCSA 2012
  5. Leehaa

    Leehaa Gigabyte Poster

    LOL! :biggrin
    Certifications: MCP, MCDST, ITIL v3, MBCS, others...
    WIP: BSc IT & Computing, RHCE
  6. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    Class :biggrin
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity

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