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Idiots Everywhere

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by tripwire45, Nov 21, 2003.

  1. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

    A friend in Canada sent this to me (no, she doesn't live in a lighthouse)

    This week, My phone went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people.
    They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they
    could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would
    you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how
    he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also
    requested that we report future outages by email. I asked him, "Does YOUR
    email work without a telephone line?"

    I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I
    had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that
    she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked
    why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just
    signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She
    carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.
    As luck would have it, they matched.

    I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
    township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign
    on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and
    he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person
    behind the counter for minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they
    only had iceberg.

    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
    "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
    which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? "
    He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
    crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I
    knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the
    light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people
    doing driving?"

    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for
    the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we
    were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and
    found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I
    watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
    discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
    technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I
    already got that side."
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