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humourous humour....

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by moominboy, Nov 22, 2005.

  1. moominboy

    moominboy Gigabyte Poster

    SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!


    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
    Juan on Juan


    What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.


    What is the difference between a Harley and a
    Hoover?
    The position of the dirt bag


    Why is divorce so expensive?
    Because it's worth it.


    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    Doughnuts?


    Why is air a lot like sex?
    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any


    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.


    What do attorneys use for birth control?
    Their personalities.


    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
    45 lbs


    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
    45 minutes


    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife.


    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.


    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
    sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.


    What's the difference between a new husband and a new
    dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you


    What makes men chase women they have no intention of
    marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
    intention of driving.


    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
    Because they have cotton balls.


    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.


    What did the blonde say when she found out she was
    pregnant?
    "Are you sure it's mine?"


    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.


    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
    Everyone has the same DNA.


    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breasts don't have eyes.


    Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
    He walks around saying "Yo."


    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use
    the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses
    it.


    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
    A different bar.



    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm
    shorter than the other?
    A speech impediment.


    What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is
    flying at half-mast?
    They're hiring.


    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a
    northern zoo?
    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the
    front of the cage along with "a recipe".


    How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say
    the F word?
    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
    *BINGO*!


    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a
    southern fairytale?
    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time.." - A
    southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shite... "


    tm canadian lady humour ltd
     
    Certifications: ECDL
    WIP: A+
  2. Boycie
    Honorary Member

    Boycie Senior Beer Tester

    6,281
    85
    174
    you really are a star :thumbleft :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MCSA 2003, MCDST, A+, N+, CTT+, MCT
  3. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

    5,239
    211
    236
    What were you doing your cert in again Moominboy?
    You absolutely rock at jokes and games!
    70-666 Cannon and Ball on a Windows 2003 network...

    :lol:
     
    Certifications: MCT, MCTS, i-Net+, CIW CI, Prince2, MSP, MCSD
  4. simongrahamuk
    Honorary Member

    simongrahamuk Hmmmmmmm?

    6,199
    125
    199
    Respect to the Canadian Lady! :biggrin
     
  5. moominboy

    moominboy Gigabyte Poster


    damn! caught out ......:tongue

    taking my exam next tuesday....
     
    Certifications: ECDL
    WIP: A+

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