Fish

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OK.

There are these two gents from over the water holidaying in a hotel in Cumbria.

They have been sitting at the bar in the hotel since breakfast, and are enjoying the peace and quiet (and a drink or three), when in walks a local chap with two of the biggest salmon either of the chaps have ever seen.

He walks through the foyer and bar, into the restaurant and then through into the kitchen where there is obviously a deal being done.

As he leaves, Paddy asks (and you'll have to do your own accents here) " Whell, that's a lovely fish and so where did you get it?"

The local replies "Oh, just down the road there, under the bridge, at this time of year you just have to stand by the bank, hold out your arms and they'll just jump into them!"
and leaves.

Paddy turns to Mick and asks "Y'up fer it?"

Mick replies "Certainly!" And on down the road they go.

As our twosome are walking toward the bridge Paddy suggests to Mick that "Well, if that guy can catch fish that big on the bank, surely there are bigger ones in the middle, the ones that nobody catches? And if so wouldn't it be a good idea if we stand ON the bridge and I hold you by the ankles and dangle you over? Then we'd get the REALLY big ones!"

"Sure!" says Mick.

So Paddy has Mick by the ankles dangled over the bridge.

And he's getting heavy.

"Have you got one yet, Mick?" says Paddy.

"Not yet Paddy" says Mick.

Some minutes pass.

And he's getting heavy.

"Have you got one yet, Mick?" says Paddy.

"Not yet Paddy" says Mick.

More time passes, and he's getting really heavy.

Have you got one yet, Mick?" says Paddy.

" No" says Mick, "but pull me up there's a train coming"