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being taken advantage of

Discussion in 'The Lounge - Off Topic' started by rockstar6181, Apr 1, 2008.

  1. rockstar6181

    rockstar6181 Byte Poster

    I have been in my current job for about 18 months now. I have displayed a hard working nature, easy to get along with and have become one of the top 3 members of the team. In the last couple of months i have felt like that my good nature has been taken advantage of, some of the jobs i have been passed have been because others dont or cant do them. Its hard to put down in words but most of the team come to me for advice and when i need something from them some seem reluctant to help - example somone rang me on my lunch to see if i could go to a site when i asked them if they could make a quick call to find something out about it they said I will wait to you to come back (no give and take it felt like).

    I have reached this point in all my jobs where i feel like i am being taken advantage of and "used" and I know the path which follows - self destruction within the job, my perfornamce normally goes down and i end up with no motorvation. My reputation normally carrys me for a while until anyone notices then by that point I leave.

    As this pattern has happened before i am worried it will follow me from place to place, its making my personal life a real struggle as I am highly strung all the time, my wife says i am to soft and i let this build up and need to learn to say no and set a standard from the start. Does anyone else feel in same boat or have any advice on what i have desribed?
    Certifications: A/N+ MCSA 2003
  2. fortch

    fortch Kilobyte Poster

    I think we've all felt like that at one time or another. Invariably, there might be more than a few posts stating "that's life", but I think it goes beyond that. I believe your wife may be somewhat on target -- you have to have the confidence, perseverance and observance to be able to discern intent, and know when to stand up or when to let go. Some people are more sensitive to others, and feel downtrodden by others' thoughtless action, even though the intent is not malice.

    It seems to me that you may have a trouble dealing with either condition. There are times when you need to professionally (or personally) assert yourself, especially if there is injustice. When a clear case is not apparent, and intent is not obvious, then you need to move past and concentrate on something else. Whatever the case, honesty and candidness is always the best policy. Confrontation, which may not be your strong suit, is sometimes necessary as well, but not in a violent way -- when confronted directly, people will generally tell you the truth. Additionally, your supervisor should be skilled enough to see this, or at least able to address the situation properly. An eye-to-eye is often necessary here as well.

    Whatever you do, don't let it eat you up inside. Confront the issue, or let it go, whichever careful determination warrants. Either way, your professional (and personal) life will improve, and people will be more hesitant to take advantage of you. Life is too short. Good luck!
    Certifications: A+,Net+,Sec+,MCSA:Sec,MCSE:Sec,mASE
  3. Mitzs
    Honorary Member

    Mitzs Ducktape Goddess

    As always fortch, sound information. Rock, when someone does you that way tell them " get this information so I can finish my luch and I will." Or just the if you can do this then I will. This lets them know its a give give situation. Don't quit your job because of others. There will always be some around to take advantage of your "get it done" additude. For those people just start telling them sorry but I am already in the middle of something. They will get the hint soon enough. The powers that be though, will notice your gun-ho additude though. Don't let the laziness of others close other doors for you before they have even had the chance to open. One more thing to remember though. If you have worked yourself up to the top 3 people of the team you will take on more responability and more people will come to you. This is just part of knowing your job and doing it very well. Learn to thrive it on and you will be surprised by how far it will and can take you.
    I wish you all the best.
    Certifications: Microcomputers and network specialist.
    WIP: Adobe DW, PS
  4. rockstar6181

    rockstar6181 Byte Poster

    thanks guys, i really am greatful for you both taking the time out to reply to my post, you both have made excellent points and i really appreaicte it, thanks again.
    Certifications: A/N+ MCSA 2003
  5. BosonMichael
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    BosonMichael Yottabyte Poster

    Some great points, above.

    Only thing I might add... although I can't guarantee that anyone is noticing your hard efforts, most of the time, somebody in management WILL notice your efforts. In all honesty, your co-workers' laziness is to your benefit.
    Certifications: CISSP, MCSE+I, MCSE: Security, MCSE: Messaging, MCDST, MCDBA, MCTS, OCP, CCNP, CCDP, CCNA Security, CCNA Voice, CNE, SCSA, Security+, Linux+, Server+, Network+, A+
    WIP: Just about everything!

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