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Why men shouldnt go shopping

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Raffaz, Feb 17, 2007.

  1. Raffaz

    Raffaz Kebab Lover Gold Member

    Dear Mrs. Squiffs
    While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
    Card, the Manager of our store in Chumley Martin is considering banning you
    and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his
    Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by
    our surveillance cameras:
    .................................................. .................
    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
    trolleys when they weren't looking.
    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
    feminine products aisle.
    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
    "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
    5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
    6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
    told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
    Calor gas stove.
    7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,
    he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
    8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
    mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
    9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
    Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
    antidepressants were.
    10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
    the "Mission Impossible" theme.
    11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
    using different size funnels.
    12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
    "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
    13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
    assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
    And; last, but not least:
    14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
    while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

    Yours sincerely,

    Charles Brown
    Store Manager
    Certifications: A+, MCP, MCDST, AutoCAD
    WIP: Rennovating my house
  2. Gaz 45

    Gaz 45 Kilobyte Poster

    Quality! :)
    Certifications: MCP (70-229, 70-228), MBioch
    WIP: MCDBA (70-290)
  3. GW

    GW Byte Poster

    When I was a kid my dad did a few of those things in the stores. The people at work wonder where I get it from.

    Certifications: MCP x4, CompTia x3
    WIP: Cisco CCNA
  4. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

    I want to try out number 14 just to see how people react :biggrin
    Certifications: A+, N+, MCDST, 70-410, 70-411
    WIP: Modern Languages BA
  5. Headache

    Headache Gigabyte Poster

    Personally I hate shopping. I mean, I absolutely absolutely hate it. I can't handle shopping malls. I especially hate it if I'm looking for something and I have to go from store to store to search for it.

    Pure torture, that is.

    If I was some kind of secret agent and you wanted all my information, just lock me up in Marks and Spencer for an hour. I'll betray my country, I' betray my family, I'll betray my friends, I'll betray everybody and anybody just to get out.
    Certifications: CCNA
  6. Mitzs
    Honorary Member

    Mitzs Ducktape Goddess

    omg that is just too funny. I don't think i'll show this to joe though. Good one Raff, keep them coming.
    Certifications: Microcomputers and network specialist.
    WIP: Adobe DW, PS

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