what is your most common IT support queries?

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Just trying to get an idea of what IT support queries you get as im hoping it wont be long before im working in IT, so i can have an idea of what to expect

what is your most common support queries?

 

Q. Why won't my document print! I've sent it 27 times!
A. Because the printer is out of paper.

Q. Why isn't this doing what I want it to?
A. Are you doing it the way I showed you yesterday?
A. No.

Q. I can't logon. What have you done?
A. Is this your PC? Exactly how many PCs are you logged on to at the moment?

Q. I need to get at a document what I wrote. I can't remember what it was called, where I saved it, and I deleted it last week by mistake.
A. Half past two.

Q. We've created a new brand called xxx. It launches in the national press tomorrow and we'll need emails going to [email protected] to go to our sales team. Oh, and we need a website.
A. Pardon?

Q. I'm trying to logon to my office PC using the username and password from my home PC. It's not working, what have you done?
A. Discovered a new species.

Pity me...

 

Common support queries,

The computer broke my password,

I wrote this really really good document, that may have been a rival to anything by Tolkien, and now its gone, even though the backups say it never existed.

Why are the computers in this place so rubbish? It won't even let me log in (Usually, unplugged network cable).

Can you install this software on all the computers, its only ten discs, and can it be done by lunchtime?

Is the network broken? My USB stick says I can't save to it.

- Maria

 

Ok over the weekend i got this call whilst fixing a works pc that had been infested with all sorts of nasties from someone's memory stick (virus checkers was out of date and so on)

So mobile rings "Hi your good with computers, can you come and install my freesat box for me, i tried plugging it into the sky satellite that was here when i moved in "




appart from that the usual call is

"my internet doesnt work anymore"

"my computers running slowly" (usually due to the amount of crap thats been installed on it)

My favourite though i posted a while back

"my computer's factory re install doesnt work anymore" (he said he had replaced the hard drive when i asked him if he had changed anything lately)

 

Insane?
Me?

 

One of my less common, but funnier queries..

Q: Why isn't my email working?
A: It's been cut off because you didn't pay your bill
or..

Q: Is there something wrong with the server, my email isn't working?
A: It's because you're not connected to the internet

On a serious note, the most common of my technical queries are resetting passwords, creating email/ftp accounts or checking DNS settings.

 

Why wont it turn on?

Have you switched on at the wall?

No

RETARD

or in the case of what I do.

I have a 9800GT in my core 2 duo and 400w power supply and teh computer keeps restarting.

Your power supply isn't powerful enough

But its a rosewill power supply that says 650w

Yes but its a **** power supply and has cheap crappy components with in it replace now or risk total failure.

I don't believe you

1 week later

My system is totally dead, I have now replaced the power supply but it wont boot at all.

Your crap power supply has destroyed something within the computer, please bench test it.

Nothing works

Oh dear, I did warn you there's not much you can do now unless you replace the mobo, then probably the ram too.

 

My days are easy.

"Why can't I get to this site?"
Because you're not allowed to.

"Why can't I logon to this server?"
Because you're not allowed to.

"Why can't I access this share?"
Because you're not allowed to.

etc... etc... my days are so facinating sometimes

 

My last supervisor had a response for that: "If you did that, I'd have to kill you."

I worked for a healthcare company, so information security and patient confidentiality were paramount. Every new employee received a training class, during which I told them in no uncertain terms that attaching unauthorized devices would likely cause a "career-changing event" to occur. The guy in your example would have all the time he wants to surf the unfiltered Internet... from home.

As far as the common queries are concerned... the others have hit the head squarely on the nail: routine "easy fixes" with a smattering of challenging ones.

 

My most regular query at the moment:


"My computers been really slow and Ian said you could put on some new faster system so would you please?"

My response:

"Get me a budget that doesn't look like a small childs pocket money and yeah of course I can, until that time, lump it."

I'm going to suggest that Ian takes my bloody job soon seeing as he seems to think he knows so much about our infrastructure.

 

A common one I used to get in a previous job was: 'Why we can't we have them smart looking flat screen monitors? They are so much nicer.' Erm, the firms going through redundancies, It has a budget thats well in the red. Believe me, if we could have flat screens, I would be so much happier, I have to lug 'em about.

Had a slightly more unusual one today, in that we have about 100 Macs on our network, and one of the students came up to say she couldn't log in. I went to ADUC, ready to reset the password, then wander over to the relevant Mac suite, to check the network cable, time and then BIND order, when she then explained that she couldn't log on because she had a '#' in her password, and Macs don't have that key on the keyboard. It stumped me for a minute, mainly because I was surprised that someone had decided to use a secure password for a change.

Maria

 

Tell you what I really hate.

Monday morning, when you are up to your t!ts in emails, letters and all kinds of rubbish - and some bell-end saunters in and says 'There's something wrong with my computer - I can't get on to Hotmail, Facebook or Twitter'.

And you think to yourself 'don't you have work to do?' and feeling indignant rage about some loafer who puts social networking over real work.

Then you go back to catching up on what's been happening on CertForums over the weekend...

 

Q: My computer is running slow
A: Follow on screen instructions

 

pmsl!

 

Teacher - A computer in room X is not working! (30+ computers in each room)

Me - Can you be more specific?

Teacher - Its not letting someone log on

Me - What is the Workstation ID? (F**k off great label on the front of the machine asking user to quote this)

Teacher - the what?

Me - The computer number?

Teacher - (annoyed by now) i dont know..its at the back of the room and wont let a user log on.

Me - Is the network cable out?

Teacher - What network cable?... (This teacher teaches IT!)

Me - Which user cant logon?

Teacher - one in my class......plus a few users cant print either in this room for some reason!

Me - which users?

Teacher - look im so busy..and this needs fixing as a matter of urgency.

Me - sure ok (goes to the bottom of my list)

 

He's teaching IT and he rings you up to sort out a connectivity problem. WTF