What annoys you?

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well see what they are doing is working!

 

You're obviously not getting it.

One of these days, perhaps you will take control of your life and be responsible for you. If you don't want them to have access to your money or stuff, move out and open a new bank account of your own.

Sorry, there's nothing you can do about the chores if you move out on your own. The landlord or mortgage company isn't gonna cut you a break because you wash your dishes or cut the grass.

When I was your age, I took responsibility for my life into my own two hands. After realizing that I didn't have enough money for a second year of college, with a broken down car and no way to get to work, I joined the United States Army, where they trained me to be an Intelligence Analyst as well as a Chinese linguist. And on top of that, they gave me $8,000. When I got out of the military, I got my own apartment and used my military money to pay for school.

Was it easy? Not in the least. But nothing good in life comes easy, Len, and you're the only one who can make that happen. If you ever figure that out, you'll probably make something of yourself.

That's... not... living on your own. That's babysitting yourself in your parents' house. Living on your own is paying for your own place and your own car and your own food and your own clothes and your own bills, doing your own cleaning, your own laundry (in your own washer and dryer), and everything else that comes with daily life that, at the moment, you're quite shielded from. Garage door broken? Parents'll take care of that. Water heater out? Yeah, that's the parents' responsibility too. There's a million little things that you won't *really* realize until you're left to do it all on your own... not just while the parents are on holiday.

Betcha the mid-20something crowd who have gotten out on their own would agree with me.

That might be parents who might not trust the maturity level of their son enough to leave him unsupervised, lest he do something foolish.

If you *really* want to become "independent grown up", move out.

I absolutely guarantee you will feel differently if/when you have kids. Please, by all means, revisit this thread in 20 years and tell me I was wrong. If you do manage to tell me I was wrong, then I guarantee you'll be the father of "those kids" that cause other parents to cringe when they talk about them.

Sorry, I'm neither overprotective nor selfish... but my children are growing up with respect for me and my wife, and they don't feel like the world owes them everything on a silver platter.

Too bad you have to deal with us "old people" until you get out and live on your own, eh?

Ah, I feel very young at 40.

 

Your posts contain the answer to your mystery.

And none of this has to do with what the problem is.

 

I know this. And I'm perfectly capable of doing this.

The closest thing to it.

They probably would. Having the chance to do it an all.

Taking a timeshot right now Its not possible for me to move. Alas, because of the thing that makes the world go round - Money. Yes, I could find a job that pays more, but finding this job was er hard enough. My current wage doesn't exactly allow me much freedom. Hence why I'm still job searching despite having a job.

Why they would think that is beyond me? I ask, but get no answers. Its funny, family friends are always commenting on "how mature I am for my age", and my parents say "We know, we know"

Again money is an issue, yes I can find a better job.. but until that happens I'm stuck.

Haha. Obviously that is true. But I wouldn't feel the need to do what my parents are doing here: Going through my possessions without my permission with no reason to do so.

The problem is why do my parents feel the need to give me no privacy? I've given them no reason to NOT trust what I keep private from them... I must come to the conclusion that you think it is acceptable to know what a teenager is doing every minute, of everyday, what items he may possess and what items he may not. Also, a teenager is not allowed to even get dressed without fear that his parents are going to walk in on him while doing so. Would you like it if someone did this to you? Probably not. Would you like it if a member of your family went through your personal stuff without permission? Probably not.

You can say "move out" as many times as you like... At the end of the day it comes down to money money money(oh, please don't get me started on possible council accommodation, it won't happen in this country at this current point in time due to the huge waiting lists).

 

I have the same feelings. I am even pleased when my gf tells me that she has found another grey hair on my head .

Agreed.

 

Why don't you try renting a room in a shared accomodation? It's not as expensive and still closer to living on your own than living in your parents house.

Then, because you pay going rate for the room you can expect some privacy (and even lock on you room door)!

 

I've done this month after month after month. They stop it for a few days or so and then its back to square one again!

Have been looking into that, and my current wage(taking into account travel costs per month) would leave me with about £40 a month left for food (To me that's not near enough, though some may think so). Once I find another job however to compliment my current income, even slightly, it will be possible. This is my best hope yet.

 

Then do it.

No, not at all. You have all of the freedom but little of the *real* responsibility. And I don't just mean "responsibility for chores".

You have the chance to do it too. You might not like the extra work that it takes to get you there, but you can do it too. Don't have enough money to move out? Deliver pizzas for extra cash. Nobody said it was gonna be easy. If you want it badly enough, you'll make it happen. If you don't, you won't.

Your attitude towards "old people" says a lot about your maturity level. You very well may be mature about a lot of things... about choosing good friends, about avoiding drinking and drugs, etc. But the problem is, you think you've got it all figured out - or if you don't, you act as if you do. When we "old people" attempt to give you advice - on this matter or on others (the employment thread comes to mind) - you immediately dismiss the advice. Yet you don't understand why you're having problems, despite ignoring the advice you've been given.

If you have nothing to hide, why stress about it?

Again, if you don't want them going through your stuff, move out of their house. There's really no other solution to it, bro.

I wouldn't care if they did or not, because I have nothing to hide from them. They can go through my stuff to their heart's content.

As far as I'm concerned, everything that my sons have is mine until they turn 18 and get out on their own. I don't plan on going through their stuff all the time... but if they give me the slightest reason to suspect something, I darn sure will!

I absolutely think it's acceptable to know what my teenagers possess before they are an adult and/or while they live under my roof! And you'll feel the same when it's YOUR responsibility to take care of YOUR children.


So what if my parents see me getting dressed? They saw everything I had before I knew I had anything to show. Simply take reasonable precautions to keep yourself covered - seriously, how long does it take to get dressed so you're covered reasonably well? seconds?

Then if you ain't got the money, then deal with it, deal with it, deal with it. What do you expect, dude? It's their house!!! There's really not a lot of options you can pursue! You can move out, or you can deal with it. Right?!? Am I missing a magical third option here? If you think that third option is, "change your parents", you're probably in for a big disappointment. You control you... but you can't change everyone else.

 

I actually take offense at this and here's why. I left school and home at 16, I joined the Army and by the time I was 18 I was already on my first operational tour of Northern Ireland (and this was when the IRA was bombing and sniping people). My barracks in Germany was bombed by the time I was 19 and by the time I was 21 I had completed two tours of Northern Ireland and Gulf War 1. I sure as **** didn't have mummy or daddy to fall back upon at 18 but that's not because I don't have them, infact I talk with my mum pretty much every day.

You really REALLY need to wake up and smell the coffee, if you don't like the way things are at home then move out, the lovely thing about being 18 is that you can legally move out and your folks can't do a thing about it (unlike my joining the Army at 16 to which my parents had to give their consent).

If you don't like living at home there is nothing stopping you from living with other people (when I left the army I shared a house with 4 other people, it was the best time of my life up until I got married and started a family).

All I see from you in one form or another is whinge, whine and ****ing more whinging. Once you get it inside your head that you're in control of your own destiny the better off every one else is going to be.

Grow a set of balls and do something to improve your life if it's so bad.

 

When people buy goods on ebay only to tell you that they don't actually have the funds to pay for them just yet!!!

 

Len - just to give you a bit of background - I moved out of my Mum's at 17. I worked two jobs (**** ones as well - not cushy ones where you sit on your arse in an office moaning about not having any work to do). One of them was as a hoddie serving three brickies at 2500 a day, the other was in a wet fish shop gutting fish, shelling crabs and the like. The first was back breaking, the second painful, wet, cold and stinking. I did that because I wanted to get the f*** outta Dodge. Guess what? two years later I got the f*** back INTO Dodge - because those jobs were murderous, I wasn't going anywhere and needed to get a better education. I sure as s*** wasn't going to get that lashing my money up the wall every week - so I moved back into my Mum's, and was grateful to her for letting me get away with paying her £200 a month keep.

You say you can't afford to move out - that's balls. There are always manual labouring jobs out there for unskilled young men to do. Trust me, I know. If you want to go down that route - walk into your local Manpower office, ring the number on the side of the Murphy's or Beach's lorries that are at every site or set of roadworks or walk into any of the building sites you see in the city (yes, there are still plenty left).

There's one phrase you need to remember in your current situation: Their house, their rules.

 

I also moved out when I was 17, in fact, I moved all the way to Texas for six months, paid rent, paid for food, gas, all the usual, and did it without a job (I had savings) because well, it would of been illegal to work!

When i moved back, I lived on my own, and have done ever since
granted I never quite had it as rough as Zeb, I moved out not because of any beef with my parents, but sharing a bedroom with your brother gets annoying when your brothers a little ****, and I had been working in IT since 14 with very little to spend money on outside of 'having a good time' so i had personal resources to hand

I can only echo what all of the above have said, you sound like your from Croydon or something.. ;)


What annoys me: Threads like this

 

Now it's not just the ravings of a crazy "old man", is it?

Man up and take control of your life. You can do it, I know you can.

 

Too be honest Len, it seems like you need to just stop bitching. Are we actually complaining that your parents do what parents do? I mean, have you ever really sat and taken a step back away from the Kevin and Perry 18 year old attitude and just thought "pretty good deal here".

I'll put it into perspective;

I've been living on my own since I was 14, bar a social worker than came around once a day to check up on me, I got my high school by myself, I got my first ever job by myself, and I got my IT career by myself. Unfortunately, I don't have parents I can fall back on, and in the grand scheme of things, not having the security you have (bar privacy issues), it seems to have only made me push forward at a rate that my peers can't keep up with.

My point is this

A) Start appreciating how lucky you are and how LITTLE you really have to moan about, because they don't live forever.

B) Man up and start pushing your career forward if you want out, and don't say "ohhh i'm only 18" because I'm only 20. I'm on the same level as my old manager and the same take home wage as he was, and he was 35, so I think I'm doing pretty well.

(and for anyone thinking "social services wouldn't let a 14 year old live alone would they?", believe me, they would. Sure they will pay the rent on the house but that's it. Social services are ****e. Hence the baby P fiascos etc etc)

 

Absof***inglutely. Social Services round our way are useless but have the gall to blame every problem they have on the local teachers and doctors, my other half has got kids who have been waiting on a social services consultation for 18 months!

What annoys me: People who won't man up and take responsibility for their own f*** ups.

 

people that have new i5 laptops and fancy phones

Other than that I still love everyone!