War on France !!!

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Jakamoko, Mar 19, 2005.

  1. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    *Thanks to Sandy for this one... :biggrin



    Jacques Chirac, the French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr.. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform ya that we are tired of the way you have been treating our decendents over in America, so therefore we are officially declaring war on ya!"

    "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "this is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

    "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

    Chirac paused, then said pompously,"I must tell you, Messier Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."

    "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring ya back!"

    Sure enough, a little later, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

    "And just what measly equipment would that be?" Chirac asked.

    "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

    Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."

    "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to ya."

    Sure enough after a few more drinks, Paddy rang again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a coople of shotguns in the cockpit, and the four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

    Chirac cleared his throatin an important fashion and said,"I must tell you that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"

    "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" said Paddy. "Again I'll have to ring ya back."

    Sure enough, Paddy called again. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.Chirac! I am sorry to tell ya that we have had to call off the war."

    "I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

    "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no fawlkin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."

    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  2. Phil
    Honorary Member

    Phil Gigabyte Poster

    :D very good
    Certifications: MCSE:M & S MCSA:M CCNA CNA
    WIP: 2003 Upgrade, CCNA Upgrade
  3. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

    Love it Jak. :thumbleft
    Certifications: A+ | Network+ | Security+ | MCP (270,271,272,290,620) | MCDST | MCTS:Vista
    WIP: MCSA, 70-622,680,685
  4. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

    very good. lol :biggrin
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
    WIP: Curr/Supervisor/Duty Mgr/Retail DIY

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