Very funny and strangely true.

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Very funny and strangely true.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be
obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever
think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that
you're really not going to like


MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex
with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex
with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for
other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to
have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that
I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you. 15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.

 

If you read it properly its not against women, it's actually against us blokes lol
Hopefully she'll see the funny side.
Then again I can always change my user name, address and telephone number, and wear a disguise rotflmao

 

Yep - that all sounds about right!

 

Hiya Rosy, I'm not cazzam35, he's not around anymore, or should I say someone stole his ID and put that posting up above? Someone must have hacked the site or something?

As if i'd (sorry I mean he'd) do something like that!

The nerve of it really lmao

As from today i'll be called Mr invisible........

 

LOL Nice one

 

ROFL

 

Hmmmm

So whatdya think guys - should I give him a whippin for the joke or for telling blatent lies?!

 

Errr BOTH....

 

no brainer rosy dear
DOUBLE WHIPPAGE!

 

flog his hide

 

What lies Rosy? They're all true!!

Give him a whipping anyway.

 

ROTFLMAO!!!! I've been married for over 20 years and I can tell you from experience that the above in incredibly true.

 

<In best Monty Python voice ....>


A DOUBLE whippin' ? The lucky, LUCKY bleeder !!!!

LOL

 

You really know how to shoot yourself in the foot.

 

Thanks for the support and backing lads.

thinks ( who needs enemies eh - really?) NOT rotflmao

As for the initial posting which as i've already said, my account
MUST have been hacked, but can any man woman or child
actually stand up here and say it isn't all true? Come on....

WILL ALL YOU BLOKES GET OUT FROM HIDING BEHIND THE TOILET SEAT ( which should be put down after use?? Yeah
we've all been there lads!!!) and stick up for yourselves eh?

Stand up and fight like men, being pushed around by women and
doing everything to keep them happy?? God's sake men!!

As for me, i've just spent 12 hours at work, made tea, cleaned,
polished and hoovered, sorted out my daughter and fed and
cleaned the dogs up. sorted the shopping and done all the
washing and the ironing, and hung it all up.........

As I said it's about time you stopped being under the thumb and
stand up to these feeble little women..

oops gotto go the wife wants to check out the male stripper
web site and who am i to argue really, I'll catch you all some
time when I'm allowed back on my computer.

(Yes hun, i'm coming off in a minute just checking some new
recipes for tea for you, lmao)

 

I read recently in another post that your 23???




And you dare talk about me lying,
cos i've seen your photo young lady.....





And you don't look a day over 19 , so who's lying now then?








How can such a sweet and beautiful young woman like
yourself bring such fear to the hearts of us blokes????








Hope this helps or i've just dug a very big hole to die in?



ROTFLMAO X2