UN Inspectors

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UN Inspectors

Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams

who are in Iraq? They're all men! How in the name of the

United Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash?

We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to

finding things. For crying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty

clothes hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out

of the cupboard and splatters on the floor ... and these are

the people we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons

of mass destruction?

I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in.

Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can

find a gram of dope. Mothers can find gin bottles that dads

have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters. They can sniff

out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can tell when

the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a

quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A

mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in

the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away!

By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than

Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an answer to a question,

she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide

detective.

Considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection

team, why are we sending a bunch of old men who will rely on

electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats?

My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand,

grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young

man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?" And God help him

if he tried to lie to her. She'd march him down the street to

some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb

and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap!

Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes

across his bare a$$ with that soup spoon, then march him home

in front of the whole of Baghdad. He'd not only come clean

and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad

for free for the whole damn summer.

Inspectors, my a$$ ... you want the job done?

Call my mother.

 

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Now that that was GOOD! and very true!!