Today's little beauty...

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OK.

There's this (very wealthy) chap who owns and runs an IT support company in the City. His wife is young, gorgeous and a nymphomaniac (see 'very wealthy' above).

He has to go away on business to the States for a couple of weeks and thinks to himself 'well, if I'm away she'll be shagg1ng the next door neighbour while I'm gone' and sets to thinking about his strategy to negate the possibility.

Our Man decides to purchase her a sex toy, the best that money can buy, and with this in mind drives his Rolls to the nearest sex shop.

Once in said sex shop and having perused the merchandise, our Man realises that there isn't a toy in the shop that his lovely lady doesn't own.

He approaches the fellow behind the counter and explains the problem.

The chap replies, in a whisper, 'well Sir I do have one thing, but there is only one, and therefore it is HUGELY expensive'.

Our Man, who by this time is running out of options, but not money, asks the obvious question.

What is it?

The Gent reaches down behind the counter and retrieves a wooden box, around 6" wide by 6" deep by 30" long.

'This, Sir, is all the way from an island in the Caribbean and it is called the Voodoo Pen1s'. 'Watch this!'

And the chap opens the box. Within lies a dark coloured phallus, of average to large size. The salesman shouts 'VOODOO PEN1S - THE DOOR!'. The thing leaps out of the box throws itself at the door and is about to break through the woodwork when the salesman shouts 'VOODOO PEN1S, GET BACK IN THE BOX!' And it jumps back in the box.

The next morning, just before our IT Manager is leaving the house he introduces his wife to the Voodoo Pen1s. Once he's gone, she can't wait and proceeds to command the Voodoo Pen1s. After a few hours though, even she's had enough and suggests that the Voodoo Pen1s should get back in its box, but it seems not to be listening. In fact it renews its exertions with even more vigour. It won't stop.

It seems that there is only one way out (!). She jumps into her drop top Merc and heads for the Hospital to have the thing surgically removed, but on the way she reaches yet another point of no return and swerves all over the road.

A police car, having noticed this momentary lack of attention and control, pulls her over, and after the usual 'ello 'ello 'ello routine asks 'Have you been drinking M'dm?' Of course she replies in the negative and regales the officer with the story above.

As the Constable is writing out her ticket, he mutters to himself 'Voodoo Pen1s? My ar$e...'

 

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Old, but good!