the difference between men and women

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by nugget, Apr 5, 2004.

  1. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

    Let's say a guy named George is attracted to a woman named Megan

    He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time.

    A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy

    They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of
    them is seeing anybody else.

    And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Megan
    and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of
    tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

    And then there is silence in the car. To Megan, it seems like a very loud


    She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that.

    Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm
    trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or
    isn't sure of.

    And George is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

    And Megan is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
    relationship, either.Sometimes I wish I had a little more space,so I'd have
    time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are,
    moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to
    keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward
    marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that
    level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

    And George is thinking: So, that means it was...let's see...February when we
    started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's,
    which means...let me check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil
    change here.

    And Megan is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm
    reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship,
    more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed
    it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why
    he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of
    being rejected.

    And George is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the transmission
    again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right.
    And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold
    weather? It's 87 degrees and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck,
    and I paid those IDIOTS $600.00!!

    And Megan is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry,too.
    I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel.
    I'm just not sure.

    And George is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day
    warranty...THOSE sorry......

    And Megan is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic,waiting for a knight to
    come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a
    perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care
    about,a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain
    because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

    And George is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a
    warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

    "George," Megan says aloud.

    "What?" says George, startled.

    "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to
    brim with tears.

    "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so...(She breaks down,

    "What?" says George.

    "I'm such a fool," Megan sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really
    know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

    "There's no horse?" says George.

    "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Megan says.

    "No!" says George, glad to finally know the correct answer.

    "It's just's that I...I need some time," Megan says.

    There is a 15-second pause while George, thinking as fast as he can, tries
    to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks
    might work. "OK," he says.

    Megan, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, George, do you really feel that
    way?" she says.

    "What way?" says George.

    "That way about time," says Megan.

    "Oh," says George. "Sure."

    Megan turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to
    become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves
    a horse.

    At last she speaks. "Thank you, George," she says.

    "Thank you," says George.

    Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured
    soul, and weeps until dawn.

    When George gets back to his place, he opens a box of TV Snacks, turns on
    the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a movie
    starring two Czechoslovakians he's never heard of.

    A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major
    was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he
    would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't
    think about it.

    The next day Megan will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and
    they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking
    detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going
    over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture
    for nuances of meaning,considering every possible ramification. They will
    continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never
    reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

    Meanwhile, George, while sailing one day with a mutual friend of his and
    Megan's, will pause just before pouring a chardonnay, frown, and
    say,"Bruiser, did Megan ever own a horse?"

    And that's the difference between men and women. :wink:
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  2. SimonV
    Honorary Member

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Gold Member

    :lol: Class, Nice one Nugget :thumbleft
    Certifications: MOS Master 2003, CompTIA A+, MCSA:M, MCSE
    WIP: Keeping CF Alive...
  3. mattwest

    mattwest Megabyte Poster


    Absolute quality...!

    I'd show it to my girlfriend, but it might not be worth the pain!!


    Certifications: See my signature...
    WIP: Maybe re-certify my CCNA
  4. Rosy
    Honorary Member

    Rosy Megabyte Poster

    :lolbang :hahaha Love it!!!
    Certifications: MOS Master Instructor
  5. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

    That's probably almost too close to the truth.
    Certifications: A+ and Network+

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