logical science

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Angus, Oct 29, 2004.

  1. Angus

    Angus Nibble Poster

    Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...

    Dave:- I reckon he's an accountant.
    Stuart:- No way - he's a stockbroker.
    Dave:- He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

    The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...

    Dave:- Scuse me .... no offence meant, but me and me mate were
    wondering what you do for a living?

    Suit:- No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
    Dave:- Oh ! What's that then?
    Suit:- I'll try to explain by example ... Do you have a goldfish at home? Dave:- Er ... mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!
    Suit:- Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in pond.

    Which is it?

    Dave:- It's in a pond!
    Suit:- Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
    Dave:- As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.
    Suit:- Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
    Dave:- As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ..... built it myself! Suit:- Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
    Dave:- Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
    Suit:- Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
    Dave:- Yep! Four nights a week!
    Suit:- Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
    Dave:- Me? Never.
    Suit:- Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
    Dave:- How's that then?
    Suit:- Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
    Dave:- I see! That's pretty impressive ... thanks mate!

    Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.

    Stuart:- I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
    Dave:- Yep! He's a logical scientist!
    Stuart:- What's that then?
    Dave:- I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
    Stuart:- Nope
    Dave:- Well then, you're a winker.
    Certifications: A+ , MCP
  2. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

    nice, bloody nice :)
    Certifications: MCSE, MCITP, VCP
    WIP: > 0
  3. punkboy101
    Honorary Member

    punkboy101 Back from the wilderness

    That rock's mate! :p
    Certifications: CCNA
    WIP: Nada
  4. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

    Oldie but still a goodie. :D
    Certifications: A+ | Network+ | Security+ | MCP (270,271,272,290,620) | MCDST | MCTS:Vista
    WIP: MCSA, 70-622,680,685
  5. Bull Gates

    Bull Gates Byte Poster

    Certifications: MCP

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