GirlFriend 1.0 (Dear Tech support counterpart)

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Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found it to be a memory hog, leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.

No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialisation where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with every passing day.

Some features we'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0.

* A "Don't remind me again" button
* A Minimise button
* An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources.
* An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages (nag screens) about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

Bug Warning

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

 

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As I recall nugget, this is only about half of the joke. The original (I presume it was the original) I read, is written to mimic a help desk call with a question and then a response. In fact, I think it was written from the girlfriend's point of view, having upgraded from boyfriend 1.0 to husband 2.0. One of the solutions was the explanation that boyfriend 1.0 is an entertainment software and that those features don't migrate easily to husband 2.0. It goes on from there. I'm not surprised that jokes mutate as they travel repeatedly around the world via the Internet. An oldie but a goodie, nugget.

 

U not had enough yet AJ?

Seen ALOT longer version of that Nugg