Drunk !!

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Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he
often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already a sleep. He
gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a
strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white
Robe.

"Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my
bedroom?" The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St
Peter."

Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to
live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . you've got to send me
back straight away." St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but
there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Dave was
devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to
be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and
clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up
inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new
hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies
Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before?" "Never!" replies Dave. "Well just relax and let it happen"

So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from
under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions
got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When
he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he
knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened
to him . . . Ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his
third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his
wife shouting... "Dave, wake up you drunken barst****d, you've shi****t the
bed.

 

I like it lol, i must be a sicko

 

Lol

 

LOL
Twisted!

 

LOL thats something different.

 

only the sick and twisted could laugh at that.


Prolly why i did .. out loud ><

 

I like it, I'm telling it at work 2moro

 

Funny....i ll tell this to my friends....good joke...
Lol

 

ROFL Loved iT!