CV and covering letter critique please

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Hi all, I am updating my CV. Was advised to keep it short and simple. I am going down the one page CV route with a short covering letter with an attachment briefing my technical experience. Any critique would be great. Obviously will be customized per vacancy etc.

Covering letter:

Dear (Find out name or sir/madame)

I write to ask if you would kindly consider me for a place for *.

I am a graduate in networks systems management with approaching three years relevant experience. This includes operating and managing simultaneously two networks in separate schools and inserting a new approach to the design of school websites.

I have attached a one page CV for your information: a separate attachment outlines and describes the various technical and management areas in which I have expertise. I should be pleased to clarify and expand any areas that are unclear. Relevant persons have kindly agreed to act as referees and I should be glad to furnish names if so required.

I hope to hear from you in due course.

Yours *

Bla

 

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Hi m8 - back from your hols then ?!
Ok, short and simple is one thing but I think you've way overdone it.

Put the technical skills back in, not as a sep doc (they may not bother to read it).


You say "three years rel experience" but don't give any real detail. Same on "computer operations and management"

"Competant trainer" - do you have any teaching certs (e.g. PTLLS) or Train the Trainer qualifications or MS Trainer ?

"Proven approach to fault finding" - how what, example ?

"Professional Experience" - not really, this is your Employment History which is a bit different.

I'd have a good read around here and on the 'net and come back with a standard 2 page "technical" type CV

Just my thoughts - but I wouldn't have employed you in my business if I'd got that).