Corporate lessons.................

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by nugget, Jul 7, 2004.

  1. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

    Corporate lesson 1

    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
    shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.
    When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
    Before she says a word, Bob says,"I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves.
    Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up
    in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, Her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," he replies.
    "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars
    he owes me?"

    Moral of the story:
    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time
    with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable

    Corporate lesson 2

    A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he
    stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.

    Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
    The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the
    priest apologized."Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
    Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance
    and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
    retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek further up, you will find glory."

    Moral of the story:
    Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity!

    Corporate Lesson 3

    Usually the staff of the company play football.
    The middle level managers are more interested in Tennis.
    The top management usually has a preference for Golf.

    As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.

    Corporate Lesson 4

    A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to
    lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

    The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each
    of you just one."
    "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
    Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
    In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be
    in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
    supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
    "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
    The manager says,"I want those two back in the office after lunch."

    Moral of story: Always let your boss have the first say.
    Certifications: A+ | Network+ | Security+ | MCP (270,271,272,290,620) | MCDST | MCTS:Vista
    WIP: MCSA, 70-622,680,685
  2. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

    wise lessons to be learnt :P
    Certifications: MCSE, MCITP, VCP
    WIP: > 0
  3. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    Good stuff yet again, Nugg :biggrin
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  4. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

    You would have never guessed it but they are quite true :biggrin wise lessons to learned by all I say..
    Certifications: A+
    WIP: my life
  5. SimonV
    Honorary Member

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Gold Member

    Really good Nugget, you da man.
    Certifications: MOS Master 2003, CompTIA A+, MCSA:M, MCSE
    WIP: Keeping CF Alive...
  6. OffSide

    OffSide Nibble Poster

    Nice Nice :D
    Certifications: N+ MCP 210
  7. AJ

    AJ 01000001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01101110 Administrator

    ROTFLMAO brilliant Nugget :biggrin
    Certifications: MCSE, MCSA (messaging), ITIL Foundation v3
    WIP: Breathing in and out, but not out and in, that's just wrong

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.