Caption competition!

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Hello, and welcome to to the first ever CertForum caption competition. As a spin-off from another thread, I'd like you to have a good, long, eye-watering look at this picture...



Then I want you to try and explain it.
You can provide a brief caption to sum up the situation, or you could provide a more rambling type of explanation such as the one that he would come up with if his mother were to walk into the room.

Entries will be judged next weekend if I remember, and I will strongly favour those that give the most plausible explantion (because I really want to know). Having said that, maybe we'll just have a laugh and see how many ways we can crowbar the word '****' into a single thread.

The winner will have to vist Trip's house in person to collect their prize. He says it's in his garage.

Have fun.

 

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Oh Crap! my trousers are so loose my cocks fell out!

Or

Just stroking my **** mum!

Poor I know, but it's a start!

 

Don't be ashamed.
Both are poor, but you have performed a great service by getting them out of the way early.

Thanks!

 

One dumb cluck meets another.

 

I'd pull my trousers up if i did'nt have my **** in my hands.

 

Tanned hunk goes to the doctor with his **** in his hand, the doctor says "What can I do for you today ?"






The **** says "Doctor, I've got a tanned hunk stuck to my @rse !"

 

.....or alternatively....

"You look like you'd last longer than La Casa who is currently in 10th place ! "

 

Is there anything you want on the shopping list dear. A new dress, lipstick, a good stuffing ???

 

Pedro had to stretch a bit to kiss the head of his ****.......

 

I know it was my last wish genie, but this is not what I meant when I asked for a big ****

 

It was love at first sight between Jonny and his ****.

 

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "Keep your pecker up!"

 

"Feathers" Malone and Andre "Da Hunk" eyeball one another before the **** fight.

 

Ya know, I REALLY tried to keep my mind out of the gutter, but dangit, I just can't pass this up:



"Hmmmmm......I thought my **** was bigger than this."

 

Jonny looked sadly at his favorite feather jumper. It was clearly not going to fit him anymore now that Martha had tumble dried it.
Not only had it been an excellent jumper, lovely and warm in winter, it had been his only one. The only problem with it had been the beak and the crest attached to the hood. They had made him look like a bit of a ****.
Oh well, he sighed. Perhaps they'll let me swap it for a belt to keep these stupid trousers up.

 

Miguel was so convinced that Tito would win this years Chicken Run Championship he bet his shirt on it.

 

Feathers Malone and Andre Da Hunk ? Jonny and Martha ? Miguel and Tito ???

Man, there are some f***ed up minds on this board !

 

present company included, gav?

 

Actually, at least SimonV is mentioning names on the board in the pic. Mine are made up. [as is Jonny 'n Martha] But, aren't we expected to us some imagination?

 

Jonny and martha came from jonnymx so they're may be some hidden truth there.

maybe jonny likes nothing better than to dress up in a **** suit and lederhosen?