A few quick ones

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Sorry if you had these before and even more sorry for the jokes themselves....


Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new

car.


Q What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.



Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.



Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball



Q. Do you know how the Welsh practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!



Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!



Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.



Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.



Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.



Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

A. About three inches.


Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?

A. For traction in the mud.


Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.


Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.



Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.


Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.


Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.


Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.



Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A . They don't have balls to scratch!

 

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Good jokes. Some made me even laugh