Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Phil, Jan 23, 2005.

  1. Phil
    Honorary Member

    Phil Gigabyte Poster

    A little girl was talking to her teacher about
    whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible
    for a whale to swallow a human because even though it
    was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
    whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale
    could not swallow a human; it was physically

    The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
    The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

    The little girl replied, "Then you ask him "

    A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
    classroom of children while
    they were drawing. She would occasionally walk
    around to see each child's work. As
    she got to one little girl who was working
    diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

    The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

    The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows
    what God looks

    Without missing a beat or looking up from her
    drawing, the girl
    replied, "They will in a minute."

    A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten
    Commandments with
    her five and six year olds. After explaining the
    commandment to
    "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked,
    "Is there a
    commandment that teaches us how to treat our
    brothers and

    Without missing a beat one little boy answered,
    "Thou shall not

    One day a little girl was sitting and watching
    her mother do the
    dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed
    that her mother

    several strands of white hair sticking out in
    contrast on her brunette head.

    She looked at her mother and inquisitively
    asked, "Why are some of
    your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied,
    "Well, every time that
    you do something wrong and make me cry or
    unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

    The little girl thought about this revelation
    for a while and then
    said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs
    are white?"

    The children had all been photographed, and the
    teacher was trying
    to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group

    "Just think how nice it will be to look at it
    when you are all grown
    up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,'
    or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

    A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
    "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
    of the blood.
    Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,
    "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run
    into it, and I would turn red in the face.."

    "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that
    while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood
    doesn't run into my feet?"

    A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't

    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
    Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
    large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the
    apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

    Moving further along the lunch line, at the
    other end of the table
    was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

    A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
    God is watching the apples".
    Certifications: MCSE:M & S MCSA:M CCNA CNA
    WIP: 2003 Upgrade, CCNA Upgrade
  2. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

    LOL. I have no problem at all believing that each and every one of those stories is absolutely true. :biggrin
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  3. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

    Thanks for that Phil. Absolutely cracking.[​IMG]
    Certifications: A+ | Network+ | Security+ | MCP (270,271,272,290,620) | MCDST | MCTS:Vista
    WIP: MCSA, 70-622,680,685
  4. AJ

    AJ 01000001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01101110 Administrator

    Cracking Phil :biggrin
    Certifications: MCSE, MCSA (messaging), ITIL Foundation v3
    WIP: Breathing in and out, but not out and in, that's just wrong

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