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3 more stories :)

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by wagnerk, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. wagnerk
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    wagnerk aka kitkatninja Moderator

    [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
    As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
    While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
    "No!" she shrieked, aghast.
    So, he dropped her.
    As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
    "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
    He dropped her, too.
    The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
    "Slut!" he said, and dropped her[/FONT]
    [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
    [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif'] -------------------------------------[/FONT]
    [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
    [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.
    When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
    At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
    At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
    When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
    As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
    "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
    He said, "**** him, give him a dollar."
    The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea." [/FONT]


    [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']A guy comes home to his wife one evening with a big bunch of flowers and she says "I suppose this means I have to get on my back with my legs open for the next three days".
    The husband says "Why? Don't you have any vases?"[/FONT]
    Certifications: CITP, PGDip, BSc, HNC, LCGI, PTLLS, MCT, MCITP, MCTS, MCSE, MCSA:M, MCSA, MCDST, MCP, MTA, MCAS, MOS (Master), A+, N+, S+, ACA, VCA, etc... & 2nd Degree Black Belt
    WIP: MSc in Tech Management
  2. Headache

    Headache Gigabyte Poster

    Nice one, Wagnek. Keep `em coming.
    Certifications: CCNA

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