where do i start

Discussion in 'Training & Development' started by zxspectrum, Mar 17, 2006.

  1. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Terabyte Poster Forum Leader Gold Member

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    OK folks i need 250 words why i want to return to college, tho i know the reasons that i personally want to go would someone give me ways of phrasing it so that it would be pleasing to the eye of the person who is interviewing me ??

    Any help would be so useful as i really dont want to screw up and look like a complete fool


    cheers folks :oops:
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  2. Mr.Cheeks

    Mr.Cheeks 1st ever Gold Member! Gold Member

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    booze and extremely jolley nights out are the reasons! :alc
     
  3. postal postie

    postal postie Nibble Poster

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    haha. love the drinking buddies pic :)
     
  4. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Terabyte Poster Forum Leader Gold Member

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    yes but let me get in the door first, im sure ill find wherre the bar is lol. Dont spose i could have that icon of the 2 drinking buddies could i it would be great on the phone lol
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  5. hbroomhall

    hbroomhall Petabyte Poster Gold Member

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    It is one of the smilies. Click the [More] link.

    Harry.
     
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  6. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Terabyte Poster Forum Leader Gold Member

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    yeah cheers its on the phone lol, is there any way i could double it in size as it looks pretty small. Oh and any more information for the start of this topic from above please feel free to make your comments as we seem to have got a little distracted lol
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  7. Mr.Cheeks

    Mr.Cheeks 1st ever Gold Member! Gold Member

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    widen your knowledge on what ever your learning, found classfoom style is is most effective.
     
  8. d-Faktor
    Honorary Member

    d-Faktor R.I.P - gone but never forgotten.

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    i'm not sure what you want from us. how are we to tell why you should return to college? if you really don't want to screw up and look like a complete fool, then don't present an argument that is not yours or is not in your words. you say you know the reasons, so write them down. if afterwards you want help with the finishing touches, then by all means, we're here. but it's gotta start with you.
     
  9. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Terabyte Poster Forum Leader Gold Member

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    Ive done one anyone want a peep
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  10. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Terabyte Poster Forum Leader Gold Member

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    I have decided to return to education to study for a degree as it seem to be one of the best ways to go about gaining vital knowledge that simply cannot be covered in the space of four weeks which is claimed by certain company’s , on advertisements on the television. I personally know that this would be more credible if id of studied hard and gained something that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

    I have chosen to study the fastrack route as at this moment I don’t possess the normal school qualifications that the majority of people have on their CV .Though this is my own fault it is in no way any reflection on my personal abilities as a person.

    My previous studies were gained whilst I was in the motor trade. I gained a level two NVQ in motor mechanics and I also gained an MOT inspectors certificate , which im sure you know is that lovely yearly check where depending on the age of your car normally costs you an arm and a leg , sorry!!.

    I have chosen to study computing as I see this as a way forward for me. I have always had an interest in computing whether it be installing software or hardware and solving general computer issues.

    I hope to gain the knowledge and confidence to be able to enter the IT job market with something that I can offer the employer and so that they can offer me something worthwhile. As I’ve looked for jobs I have always come across the barrier of having no qualifications and hopefully after the 3 years at Edge Hill that I will be able to look back and say that I made the right choice.


    And i could add , which is a friends comments

    Having spent the last ten years undertaking a number of diverse manual-skilled occupations I have always felt that I would like to commit to something more mentally stimulating, something modern and with dynamic skills that can be applied to any number of different scenarios, career paths or opportunities. By seeking to undertake a course in XXXXX at Edge Hill I feel would not only be giving myself a real boost in terms of employment opportunities but also giving myself an opportunity to make real strides toward getting the kind of job that I would find challenging, stimulating and rewarding.


    The statement is meant to be about 250 words, think im touching 300 ? Any ideas people :biggrin
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  11. d-Faktor
    Honorary Member

    d-Faktor R.I.P - gone but never forgotten.

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    okay, i won't get into the spelling mistakes and syntax errors, because for one, english is not my native language, so who am i to correct you, two, you will probably go through several more rewrites, and three, i'm sure you know how to handle a spell checker.

    so, let's rip this thing apart. :twisted:

    it seems? oh, i'm sure they're going to be ecstatic to hear that.

    i don't think you need to spell it out for them. and juxtaposing a four week boot camp to three years of college is hardly an argument, because it really already speaks for itself.

    do you want to appear more credible for having gone to college, or do you want to gain knowledge and be more credible?

    don't sell yourself short.

    this is not a therapy session, nor is anyone attacking you for what or who you are (so why defend it).

    not sure if this is relevant, but at least it shows your willingness to learn and certify.

    :blink

    excellent.

    good start...

    but lousy finish...

    meh... besides the fact that you should express more confidence about your choice now (not in three years), i guess this is okay.

    obviously not your words, because of the difference in tone and wordchoice. as for the content, it's good, although personally i would turn down the buzz words just a bit (dynamic, opportunity, strides, challenging, stimulating, etc. etc.)
     
  12. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Terabyte Poster Forum Leader Gold Member

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    Well d-faktor, i will take your words on board. What you have done there is what ive been looking for, other people have said its good etc , but i like more than one opinion on things. The bit about the cars is on the app form itself it asks you about your work experience, and the last bit , you know the little joke is i suppose an ice breaker. Tho i want them to know id be committed id also like them to know ive got a personality- if that makes sense. The spelling etc is just typing errors, as im pretty good at spelling- honest lol. Ill submit another revamped version and if youd be so good to tear it apart again, id be really grateful. What is your native lanuage by the way ???
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  13. d-Faktor
    Honorary Member

    d-Faktor R.I.P - gone but never forgotten.

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    but shouldn't it then stay on the app form?
    it's like a résumé and a cover letter. you rarely list in the cover letter what is already in the résumé.

    maybe save that for the interview, where you will be able to sense if there is room for humour.

    sure thing.

    dutch
     
  14. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Terabyte Poster Forum Leader Gold Member

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    Well ive done a revamped version d-faktor and hoefuly its more pleasing to the eye lol, though i have left th little joke in there lol

    have decided to return to full time education, to study for a degree in computing so that I can open doors for myself with future employers. With having no qualifications at all and trying to get my foot in the door with potential employers I have basically ran into a brick wall. I believe this way to be one of the best ways available to me because what I will gain from this in academic experience and personal experience will stay with me for the rest of my life.

    I have decided to go down the fastrack route as at this moment in time I do not possess any relevant qualifications, even though this is not a true reflection of my personal ability.

    My previous studies were gained whilst I was in the motor trade. I gained a level 2 NVQ in motor mechanics and also gained an MOT inspectors certificate, which I’m sure you know is that lovely yearly check, where depending on the age of your car normally costs you an arm and a leg, sorry!!

    I have chosen to study computing as I see this as a way forward for me. I have always had an interest in computing, whether it be installing software and hardware and solving general computer issues.

    Another reason for me to do this degree is so that I can better myself as a person and gain confidence in knowing that I will be able to have this with me for life. I see computing as the way forward for a challenging and interesting career with great prospects for my future.
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  15. ffreeloader

    ffreeloader Terabyte Poster

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    I'd have to agree with d-Faktor on this and even go more than a little bit further.

    If I saw a cover letter come in that had a paragraph or two that basically stands up and screams, "I was written by someone else" I'd be pretty leary of the person who sent it. It would put up red flags in my mind. Why? Because they are attempting to pass off someone else's work as their own, and if they would do that in an attempt to get the job, what would they do if they had the job? That's what would run through my mind. I mean, a person who takes the credit for work other people did to make themselves look good is really hard on employee morale. The obvious ethics of that kind of behavior aside, that kind of behavior hurts productivity and overall company profitability, and very well may cause good people to leave.

    So, if anyone is tempted to use someone else to do your writing for you, or borrow someone else's words because of a lack of writing skills, think again. Doing that may very well hurt your chances of landing a job in the first place. Do the hard work yourself. You'll learn, increase your own skills, build confidence in your own abilities, and avoid one reason for putting up a possible red flag in the mind of the person doing the reading.

    I'm not making a comment on your ethics, zx, as I don't know you. I'm just saying what reading a letter that obviously has multiple authors, only one signature, and no attribution to other authors causes me to think.

    That you came here looking for criticisms so you could improve speaks well of you.
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCDBA, CCNA, A+
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  16. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Terabyte Poster Forum Leader Gold Member

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    Well folks ive had my 3rd attempt and here it is. A couple of thins though to point out is that this a letter for a college on why i want to return to study, and these are truthfully my own words there would be no poin in my eyes in submitting someone elses work, unless it would make me a milionaire lol. Feel free to pull this to pieces again , im really enjoying the feedback . Thank you all again

    I have decided to study for a degree in computing as I see that this will be one of the best decisions I will ever make. A degree in itself is something that stays with you for life and is also looked more favorably on with potential employers. I also think that it would be very beneficial to me as a person as I strive to better myself and look hopefully to make a career out of working in the IT industry.

    My previous study was when I was in the motor trade and a vehicle technician, I gained a level 2 NVQ as well as gaining an MOT inspectors certificate. The course work itself was rather enjoyable I found it very rewarding to collate and display my evidence to the tutors.

    I have chosen the fastrack route as I do not possess the normal GCSE qualifications, but this is in no way any reflection on my personal ability

    I’ve chosen computing as I see it as a challenging industry, and with the ever rapidly advancing technology, I know that this is something that I want to be apart of. I have always had and interest in computers, whether that be installing hardware and software or just solving general computer issues.

    After the 3 year course I hope to have the confidence in my self to go to an employer as a well educated individual who has something to offer his/her company, and in return I will have the opportunity to work with an exciting and prosperous outfit . I also think that a degree is not beyond my reach, the challenge is going to be an exciting one which I am very eager to get my teeth into
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  17. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    I would say definitely either "ever" or "rapidly" . The two together are grammatically incorrect, and clumsy. Note - if choosing "ever" then remember to hyphenate it thus:

    "ever-advancing technology"

    All just IMHO, of course :)
     
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  18. d-Faktor
    Honorary Member

    d-Faktor R.I.P - gone but never forgotten.

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    not bad, zxspectrum, not bad at all. good work. i wouldn't change it that much anymore, if i were you. :thumbleft
    of course you have to take care of the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.
     
  19. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Terabyte Poster Forum Leader Gold Member

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    Ill do all that lol, im normally good at all that stuff lol, but ive just been wanting to get it right and make a good impression.

    Thanks again for your thoughts guys they have helped me a lot
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  20. d-Faktor
    Honorary Member

    d-Faktor R.I.P - gone but never forgotten.

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    just a tip, that is not about the spelling errors or grammatical mistakes, but more about the structure. you have three paragraphs beginning with "i have". besides avoiding repetition, you also have to try to limit the number of sentences that you begin with "i".
     

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