Security Threats

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by cazzam35, Jan 23, 2007.

  1. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

    Security Threats

    Following the recent terrorist events, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'.
    The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military.
    In response to the French raising their alert level other European countries have responded in kind

    The Italians have increased their alert level from "Shouting Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing".
    Two more levels remain, "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

    The Germans have also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Full Dress Uniform and Marching Songs".
    They have two higher levels, "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

    Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find Somewhere Ripe for Regime Change".
    Their remaining higher alert states are "Take on the World" and "Ask the British for Help".

    Finally, here in GB we've gone from "Pretend Nothing's Happening" to "Make Another Cup of Tea".
    Our higher levels are "Chin Up and Remain Cheerful" and "Win".
    The British are still feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and security threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
    Note to Readers : The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
    WIP: Curr/Supervisor/Duty Mgr/Retail DIY
  2. Pady

    Pady Nibble Poster

    excellent - made me chuckle
    Certifications: A+, See Sig for HW Certs
    WIP: Network+ & MCP 70-270
  3. supag33k

    supag33k Kilobyte Poster

    Well seeing that the USA is not in Europe I took the liberty of adding Australia....

    We have "Police detachments" to the Solomons and PNG and we had UN sanctioned "Military Expeditions" in East Timor.

    The next alert state is "Forward Deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan" - showing the yanks and the poms etc where to fight with our ships and our SAS.

    The final state is "Digger Fury" - seen in Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, both the World Wars etc etc...where a numerically superior enemy are stupid enough to corner and attempt to wipe out a smaller force of Australian and NZ troops.

    All this especially applies if some galah roughs up the Brits or our other mates.
    Certifications: MCSE (NT4/2000/2003/Messaging), MCDBA
    WIP: CCNA, MCTS SQL, Exchange & Security stuff

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