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Santa letters

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Raffaz, Dec 18, 2006.

  1. Raffaz

    Raffaz Kebab Lover Gold Member

    Deer Santa,
    I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy
    all yeer.

    Yer Friend, Billy

    Dear Billy,
    Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How
    about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm
    giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.

    ************************************************** ***
    Dear Santa,
    I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for
    is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
    Love, Sarah

    Dear Sarah,
    Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

    ************************************************** **
    Dear Santa,
    I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like
    for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
    Love, Teddy

    Dear Teddy,
    Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
    hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
    frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that
    dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.


    ************************************************** **
    Dear Santa,
    I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a
    dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
    Love, Francis

    Dear Francis,
    Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll
    set you up with a Barbie.


    ************************************************** **
    Dear Santa,
    I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
    carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
    Love, Susan

    Dear Susan,
    Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart inmy
    face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a
    bottle of Scotch.
    ************************************************** **
    Dear Santa,
    What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
    making toys?
    Your friend, Thomas

    Dear Thomas,
    All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where
    I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
    drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
    while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

    ************************************************** **
    Dear Santa,
    Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when
    we're awake, like in the song?
    Love, Jessica

    Dear Jessica,
    Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
    I'm skipping your house.


    ************************************************** **
    Dear Santa,
    I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please,
    PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
    Love, Timmy

    Dear Timmy,
    That whiney begging shite may work with your folks, but that
    crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.


    ************************************************** **
    Dearest Santa,
    We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our
    Love, Marky

    Dear Mark,
    First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting
    your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you
    live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
    like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

    Sweet dreams,
    Certifications: A+, MCP, MCDST, AutoCAD
    WIP: Rennovating my house
  2. Mitzs
    Honorary Member

    Mitzs Ducktape Goddess

    oh dam, :biggrin That is so wrong but still funny. I have to pass these on to my brothers.
    Certifications: Microcomputers and network specialist.
    WIP: Adobe DW, PS
  3. nXPLOSi

    nXPLOSi Terabyte Poster

    Lol @ the mummy and daddy one...harsh
    Certifications: A+, Network+, Security+, MCSA 2003 (270, 290, 291), MCTS (640, 642), MCSA 2008
    WIP: MCSA 2012
  4. Raffaz

    Raffaz Kebab Lover Gold Member

    Hey, its not that bad, he got some lego lol :)
    Certifications: A+, MCP, MCDST, AutoCAD
    WIP: Rennovating my house

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