OS Christmas Crackers

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by SimonV, Dec 1, 2003.

  1. SimonV
    Honorary Member

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Gold Member

    Linux Cracker - Has a loud bang, but is silent until the seventeenth
    time you try it, when it mysteriously works. You have to build the
    cracker from various optional components, components must be assembled
    in the right order. Novelty assemble yourself prize.

    BSD Cracker - Functional but plain looking cracker. Has a guaranteed
    dull thud. Must be built from the prescribed set of components. Prize is
    some dull but useful item.

    Mac OS X Cracker - Beautiful cracker it is a work of art. You press one
    button and it pulls itself. Has a good loud bang and produces a small
    firework display and the prize is something shiny. Occasionally it
    vanishes in a puff of smoke.

    Windows XP Cracker - Costs a fortune but is quite a pretty cracker. Have
    to accept an agreement saying that Microsoft can take the prize and
    exchange it for one of similar value or less. Must be pulled in the
    designated Microsoft way or it won't work. Often causes burns.
    Occasionally all prizes come out blue. (Factory recall notice issued)

    Windows 9x Cracker - Looks like a big cracker weighing 32 grams, but is
    actually a small cracker weighing only 16 grams with wrappers.
    Occasionally spontaneously combusts.

    BeOS Cracker - Looks nice and pretty, but only has adverts saying "Not
    available in stores". Demonstration crackers are available but don't
    give you anything to pull, leaving you wondering what use it is.

    QNX Cracker - Very pretty miniature cracker, can only be operated by

    RISC OS Cracker - Obscure cracker. Costs very little and takes up no
    space. You get a nice but totally useless prize.

    Certifications: MOS Master 2003, CompTIA A+, MCSA:M, MCSE
    WIP: Keeping CF Alive...
  2. Sandy

    Sandy Ex-Member


    Debian GNU/Linux cracker - very loud bang, self-assembles itself using the very latest in cracker technology, however can be harder than other Linux-kernel-crackers to install.

    Red Hat Cracker - Cracker only available for a premium now, however Fedora Cracker is available. Bang takes forever and a day due to the 'enhanced' wrapping paper used.

    Apache Cracker - most popular cracker on the World Wide Web, yet despised by suits everywhere for not being a Microsoft Cracker, despite consistent bang quality, stable wrapper and flexible hat.

    IIS Cracker - Randomly combusts for no reason. Toy is left exposed to thieves out of the box. Requires either an Microsoft engineer or someone who's been on a Windows course masquerading as an engineer, to work properly. Very expensive and high TCB (Total Cost of Bangage)
  3. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    Good chuckles there, Guys :lol: My mind is wondering already what departures this Thread is going to take :hhhmmm
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity

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