Need urgent help

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Dear Technical Support,


18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any
trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and
run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several
other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend
proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut
down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these
two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0,
only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all
my available resources, it does come bundled with CookingPlus and Cleanhouse2008.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any
mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced
months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop
and Multi-Whinge.

These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments
and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2007, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted
me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2007, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling
itself. Help requested please!

---------------------------------
And the flip side...

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall
performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention
6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,

Desperate


---------------------------------------------------------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.


Try entering the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt
3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery
2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.


WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications
quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend
Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,


Tech Support

 

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try installing candle party 0.6 to run at the same time as football 5.0 this should fix problem hope it helps

 

ha ha lol

What about installing them with midnight orgy 4.4

 

LOL

 

Hilarious - that's going round the office

 

LMAO! I have found that to be greatly successfull in my 19 yrs of cohabation.

 

Terminating my service conract wont work with me... cause i'm a man and we can DIY! Or if we're very lucky, we can always go out and find new service staff!

(Mind you with the costs of running, and taking into account depreciation, sometimes its not worth it. Might as well stick with the old boiler as its tried and tested!)

 

Botox Evil!

 

Don't make me duck tape your boots togather missy.

I would never do something like that. I have earned my laugh lines and I am not afraid of growing older. Now my hair aging would be another matter.

 

Ew, plastic. I prefer natural ones of any size, thankyewverymuch.