Men Are Happier

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What do you expect when:

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier