Laser Printer

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Phil, May 5, 2004.

  1. Phil
    Honorary Member

    Phil Gigabyte Poster

    Following is a genuine email from a mate of mine who works in a hospital, thought you lot may appreciate it. Definitely cheered me up, I sometimes wonder if we're blessed with the users we deserve......

    The ladies in the general office had a paper jam this morning in the back of one of our large report printing laser printers.

    So they dismantled it: completely. And I really mean completely completely.

    Leaving it still attached to the mains they used a cunning combination of a butter knife and a fork (both metal) and some brute leverage to disgorge the innards of the printer across several desks.

    Having dismantled it (and not electrocute themselves or perform localised eye surgery with the laser) they removed the offending paper and then proceeded to rebuild it, with said knife and fork. Having figured out where all those pesky springs and rubber roller things went, they dropped the toner cartridge which ejected a small, black mushroom cloud of toner across the office.

    The next decision was truly inspired; rather than waste what toner was left in the cartridge they'd dropped, they levered it open with the multi-use, leading edge technological device specially designed for this purpose (a fork), then got a new cartridge, levered that open as well and tried to empty the remnants of the toner from the old cartridge into the new one using a simple but effective rigorous shaking technique. Never has so much toner been spread so far across so many desks.

    Having quickly come to the conclusion that this was a bad idea, they opted just to get another new one from the store cupboard before borrowing the cleaner's hoover to remove the layer of black dust which seemed to have coated just about everything to the near horizon.

    Finally slamming the back flap shut whilst plonking it on the duplexing paper bin, a small plastic component and spring fired out of the back of the printer across the room. Nobody knows what it is, nobody is quite sure where it came from but everybody is quite sure that the printer probably needs it to continue functioning.

    I have been asked to log a support call with a service engineer and somehow explain the mangled screw heads, strained and scuffed plastic, the dense coating of toner all over the inside and how a small but crucial component that should very definitely be on the inside came to find itself on the outside.

    Brings a tear to your eye it does. Some would say it was initiative and Dunkirk Spirit.
    This isn't a joke, this was my morning. F*cking surreal
    Certifications: MCSE:M & S MCSA:M CCNA CNA
    WIP: 2003 Upgrade, CCNA Upgrade
  2. Rosy
    Honorary Member

    Rosy Megabyte Poster

    ROFWLO - hilarious - I can picture the whole scene very clearly Phil - oh well - I bet they had a good laugh having a go at the task! So sorry for whoever had to try to explain this one though!
    Certifications: MOS Master Instructor
  3. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster




    If I had to support them, I'd kill them. No I wouldn't, but I would make sure they'd never live it down. On their tombstones, along with all the other relevant information, I would make sure it said "Skilled Laser Printer Killer" or words to that effect.

    I've changed my mind. I would kill them. :eek:
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  4. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

    I'm sorry that that was your day Phil but it was f"*king funny all the same.
    Certifications: A+ | Network+ | Security+ | MCP (270,271,272,290,620) | MCDST | MCTS:Vista
    WIP: MCSA, 70-622,680,685
  5. mattwest

    mattwest Megabyte Poster

    The bain of our lives! Users!

    But without them we wouldnt have jobs!!

    AHHHH!!! :D
    Certifications: See my signature...
    WIP: Maybe re-certify my CCNA
  6. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

    oh come on Matt
    i cant believe you didnt spot it said 'ladies' right at the top
    thats female users man, u gotta run with it
    Certifications: MCSE, MCITP, VCP
    WIP: > 0
  7. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    Somehow, I can believe it. I sense a strong "blonde" involvment here ... :lol:
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  8. AJ

    AJ 01000001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01101110 Administrator

    Brilliant Phil

    Teachers at our place wouldn't even know how to open a printer never mind fixing it. :D
    Certifications: MCSE, MCSA (messaging), ITIL Foundation v3
    WIP: Breathing in and out, but not out and in, that's just wrong

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