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Fun with AT&T

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Mr.Cheeks, Mar 7, 2006.

  1. Mr.Cheeks

    Mr.Cheeks 1st ever Gold Member! Gold Member

    One of the things that has always bugged me (and I'm sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this.

    Me: Hello.

    AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.

    Me: Is this AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.

    Me: This is AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes. This is AT&T.

    Me: Is this AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please?

    Me: May I ask who is calling?

    AT&T: This is AT&T.

    Me: Ok, hold on.

    At this point, I put the phone down for a solid five minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting.

    Me: Hello?

    AT&T: Is this Mr. Salem?

    Me: May I ask who is calling please?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.

    Me: Is this AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.

    Me: This is AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Salem?

    Me: Yes, is this AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes, sir.

    Me: The phone company?

    AT&T: Yes, sir.

    Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.

    AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

    Me: I already have a phone.

    AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Salem.

    Me: Well, whatever it is, I'm really not interested, but thanks for calling.

    When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested," but this lady was persistent.

    AT&T: Mr. Salem, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.

    Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word "rate." I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

    Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

    AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

    Me: Seven days a week?

    AT&T: That's right.

    Me: Three hundred and sixty-five days a year?

    AT&T: Yes, sir.

    Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!! That's amazing!!

    AT&T: We think so!

    Me: That's quite a sum of money!

    AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

    Me: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560? If you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

    AT&T: Excuse me?

    Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

    AT&T: What are you talking about?

    Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making the payment.

    AT&T: Oh no, sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

    Me: Wait a minute here! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?

    AT&T: Well, yes, this is AT&T, sir, but...

    Me: But nothing! How do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.

    AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for...

    Me: There you go again! Can I speak to a supervisor please?!?

    AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

    Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?

    AT&T: What?

    Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

    AT&T: Yes, Mr. Salem. Please hold.

    So, now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food...

    Supervisor: Mr. Salem?

    Me: Yeth?

    Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

    Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? (Is this AT&T)

    Supervisor: Yes, sir, it sure is.

    I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

    Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

    Supervisor: OK, no problem. I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

    Me: Thank you.

    I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

    AT&T: Hello, Mr. Salem. I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan

    Me: Do you have that friends and family thing, because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother.

    AT&T: (click)
  2. unemployedstudent

    unemployedstudent Byte Poster

    Like it, :funfun

    I've done something similar with someone trying to sell me banking solutions. It got very confusing :D
    Certifications: BAISA(hons) Degree, ECDL.
    WIP: A+, CompTIA N+, CCNA
  3. Duckie

    Duckie Nibble Poster


    I loved that :D

    Certifications: MCDST, MOS 2003
  4. _omni_

    _omni_ Megabyte Poster

    um...you calculated that on the spot? O.o
    Certifications: MCSE 2003, MCSA:M
  5. Bigsistermidnight

    Bigsistermidnight Bit Poster

    The last cold call we got, my boyfriend threatened to sing down the phone to them - it worked. Quickest cold call ever!! :biggrin :biggrin
    Certifications: SG Computing Studies(ha ha),ECDL
    WIP: A+

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