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Exam answers

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Clyde, Oct 25, 2005.

  1. Clyde

    Clyde Megabyte Poster

    As ever, allegedly from the mouths of babes, this time in Finglas, Dublin.

    Q: Name the four seasons.
    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
    pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

    Q: How is dew formed?
    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
    water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
    A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well

    Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
    A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an

    Q: What are steroids?
    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

    Q: What happens to your body as you age?
    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

    Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
    A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his

    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A: Premature death.

    Q: What is artificial insemination?
    A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
    A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.
    A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
    borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the
    borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains
    the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

    Q: What is the Fibula?
    A: A small lie.

    Q: What does "varicose" mean?
    A: Nearby.

    Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
    A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

    Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
    A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

    Q: What is a seizure?
    A: A Roman emperor.

    Q: What is a terminal illness?
    A: When you are sick at the airport

    Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic
    A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like

    Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand
    its meaning.
    A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

    Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

    Q: What is a turbine?
    A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head
    Certifications: A+, Network+, Security+, MCSA, MCSE
  2. moominboy

    moominboy Gigabyte Poster

    superb clyde! :biggrin

    im off googling for more "out of the mouths of babes"

    ok, found this and there are just too many to start posting here...


    this one is from kids but i was looking for the fhm version of women talking crap!
    Certifications: ECDL
    WIP: A+

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