Aussie bricklayer's Claim

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Jakamoko, Jun 16, 2004.

  1. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    Australian bricklayer report

    This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
    newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation
    board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a
    Darwin Award for sure.......

    Dear Sir,

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
    Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the
    cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust
    the following details will be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
    alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my
    work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed
    later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry
    the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth
    Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
    barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied
    the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh
    135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly,
    I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless
    to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In
    the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
    proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
    fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed
    in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I
    continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right
    hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
    Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
    able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience
    pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks
    hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
    Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed
    approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can
    imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In
    the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
    accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
    lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change
    slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to
    lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately
    only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I
    lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost
    my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay
    there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.
    This explains the two broken legs.

    I hope this answers your inquiry.
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  2. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

    Trying to come out of your shell Jak?? The way I heard it, it was a Scotsman working as a brickie and the evidence?? We haven't used lbs as a measure of weight since 1966 :!: [​IMG]
    Certifications: A+ | Network+ | Security+ | MCP (270,271,272,290,620) | MCDST | MCTS:Vista
    WIP: MCSA, 70-622,680,685
  3. AJ

    AJ 01000001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01101110 Administrator

    Good one Gav :eek: :eek:
    Certifications: MCSE, MCSA (messaging), ITIL Foundation v3
    WIP: Breathing in and out, but not out and in, that's just wrong
  4. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

    i heard it when it was american bricklayer :)
    Certifications: MCSE, MCITP, VCP
    WIP: > 0

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