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WOMEN'S REVENGE

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Greebo, Apr 19, 2004.

  1. Greebo

    Greebo Byte Poster

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    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

    "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

    "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."

    UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

    I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

    CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

    She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

    He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she.

    WIFE VS HUSBAND

    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

    :lol:
     
  2. SimonV

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Administrator

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    [​IMG]
    ROTFLMAO

    I needed that laugh Greebo thanks.
     
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  3. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    Good ones, Greebo. :lol:
     
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  4. mattwest

    mattwest Megabyte Poster

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    Very good !

    Matt
     
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  5. Jakamoko
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    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Fabulous, Greebo.

    I notice Nugget has gone strangely quiet :P :lol:
     
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  6. nugget
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    nugget Junior toady

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    Nice one Greebo :respct :respct :respct


    @Jak, wash your mouth out with soap young man, I'm just spending quality time with my kids. :funfun
     
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  7. Jakamoko
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    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Aye right, a flimsy excuse and no mistake !!!
    :lolbang

    <marquee> :) </marquee>
     
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  8. Rosy
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    Rosy Megabyte Poster

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    Yippeeeee!!! Finally female humour in this male dominated place!! 8)
     
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  9. nugget
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    nugget Junior toady

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    It's sad that the funniest stories are often true ones Rosy!
     
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  10. tripwire45
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    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    Hey Rosy, nothing's stopping you from posting some "female humour" in this "male dominated place". :wink:
     
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  11. Greebo

    Greebo Byte Poster

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    Nicked this but my comments are at the end :wink:

    Driving to the office this morning on the motorway, I looked over to my right and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 90 miles per hour with her face up close to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

    I looked away for a couple of seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane still working on that makeup!! It scared me (I'm a man) so much that I dropped my electric shaver, which, knocked the bacon roll out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile from my ear,
    which fell into the coffee between my legs, causing it to splash and burn BIG JIM AND THE ROUND TWINS, causing me to scream, which made me drop the cigarette out of my mouth, ruined my shirt and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL.

    WOMEN DRIVERS...................

    My addition to this is (blows big raspberry) Coz it is a known fact that men are only capable of doing ONE thing at any one time
     
  12. Jakamoko
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    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Quite the best anatomical description I have heard in a long time :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
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  13. tripwire45
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    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    BIG JIM AND THE ROUND TWINS! Well, yeah!!! Oh, did I tell you my real life name is.... :oops:
     
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  14. mattwest

    mattwest Megabyte Poster

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    Let the male bashing begin!!

    :wink:
     
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