1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Women according to an Engineer

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Delta, Apr 10, 2007.

  1. Delta

    Delta Bit Poster

    13
    0
    26
    Woman- As Explained by Engineers

    Finally - an explanation of Woman that makes sense to a man:

    1, To find a woman you need time and money, therefore:
    Woman = Time x Money

    2, Time is money:
    Time = Money

    3, Therefore:
    Woman = Money x Money or:
    Woman = (Money) x 2

    4, Money is the root of all problems:
    Money = problems

    5, Therefore:
    Woman = (Problems) x 2

    Hazardous Material Data Sheet

    Element: Woman
    Symbol: O+
    Discoverer: Adam
    Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kgs but known to vary from 45kgs to 225kgs

    Physical Properties:
    1, Body surface normally covered with film of powder and paint.
    2, Boils at absolutely nothing - Freezes for no apparent reason.
    3, Found in various grades ranging from virgin to common ore.

    Chemical Properties
    1, Reacts well to gold, Platinum and all other precious stones.
    2, Explodes spontaneously without reason or warnings.
    3, The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

    Common Use
    1, Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
    2, Can greatly aid relaxtion.
    3, Can be a very effective cleaning agent.

    Hazards
    1, Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.
    2, Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must never make eye contact.

    An oldie, but a goodie. Please enjoy and no offense meant to any sex is intended. :D
     
    WIP: A+
  2. BosonMichael
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    BosonMichael Yottabyte Poster

    19,136
    462
    374
    (Money)^2, not (Money) x 2. ;)

    And Money's the root of all Evil, so Woman = (Evil)^2. heh!
     
    Certifications: CISSP, MCSE+I, MCSE: Security, MCSE: Messaging, MCDST, MCDBA, MCTS, OCP, CCNP, CCDP, CCNA Security, CCNA Voice, CNE, SCSA, Security+, Linux+, Server+, Network+, A+
    WIP: Just about everything!
  3. twizzle

    twizzle Gigabyte Poster

    1,838
    33
    104
    Describing simple harmonic movement.... i.e. - 'Sinusoidal Motion'

    For Engineers:

    [​IMG]





    And for Non-Engineers ...this is what it all means in picture form..... this is sinusoidal motion

    [​IMG]

    and if they aint bouncing then my maths be wrong.
     
    Certifications: Comptia A+, N+, MS 70-271, 70-272
    WIP: Being a BILB,
  4. Stevie

    Stevie Byte Poster

    118
    1
    20
    Now i put that mathematical equation up in the crew room where I work (a rather big airline full of women). Thanks to that, and a few sexiest Jimmy Carr jokes, I'm now labeled a male chovanist pig :(
     
    WIP: A+, Network+, Security+
  5. BosonMichael
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    BosonMichael Yottabyte Poster

    19,136
    462
    374
    Uh-oh... time to clean out the proxy server... :blink
     
    Certifications: CISSP, MCSE+I, MCSE: Security, MCSE: Messaging, MCDST, MCDBA, MCTS, OCP, CCNP, CCDP, CCNA Security, CCNA Voice, CNE, SCSA, Security+, Linux+, Server+, Network+, A+
    WIP: Just about everything!
  6. nXPLOSi

    nXPLOSi Terabyte Poster

    2,874
    30
    151
    Lol, Jimmy Carr is wicked, love that guy :D
     
    Certifications: A+, Network+, Security+, MCSA 2003 (270, 290, 291), MCTS (640, 642), MCSA 2008
    WIP: MCSA 2012
  7. Stevie

    Stevie Byte Poster

    118
    1
    20
    I've just got his first stand up show from 2004, it's wicked. The TV show he did called 'distraction' was fantastic! They showed it on Challenge on Sky a few weeks ago :D
     
    WIP: A+, Network+, Security+
  8. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

    5,239
    211
    236
    Where's Raffaz?
    Is he sulking because someone else started a thread about women jokes?

    :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MCT, MCTS, i-Net+, CIW CI, Prince2, MSP, MCSD
  9. Raffaz

    Raffaz Kebab Lover Gold Member

    2,976
    56
    184
    Na im not sulking, just been glued to me monitor looking at post # 3:eyecrazy :)
     
    Certifications: A+, MCP, MCDST, AutoCAD
    WIP: Rennovating my house
  10. nXPLOSi

    nXPLOSi Terabyte Poster

    2,874
    30
    151
    Yeah he is great, if you get a chance, go and see him live. Tickets wasnt that expensive and he's definately worth every penny, top bloke! :D
     
    Certifications: A+, Network+, Security+, MCSA 2003 (270, 290, 291), MCTS (640, 642), MCSA 2008
    WIP: MCSA 2012

Share This Page

Loading...