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Will you just shut up! You're doing my head in!!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge - Off Topic' started by Leehaa, Feb 16, 2011.

  1. Leehaa

    Leehaa Gigabyte Poster

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    Is what a colleague said to me today.

    What would you do if you had that?

    I just carried on as though nothing had happened...but wow - he did it in such an aggressive manner.

    Okay...i'm a woman. Women wind men up...but from a man's perspective (and the perspective of any female reading this)...would you think that a little harsh?

    The situation: there's two of us in as we are short staffed normally, but today we also have one person off sick and anothers on courses so it has been quite busy. There was an issue that came in at about 11am this morning - quite serious and needed attention. He picked up the call and started on it but didn't check to see if the issue was resolved and didn't tell anyone about it. About 10 minutes before normal business hours end, someone called up panicking (quite rightfully given the issue) and asking why the issue hadn't been fixed. I asked him why if he'd known about it for so long he hadn't at least escalated it to someone else? He has done this a fair few times of late with the same issue and others and a few of us have asked him to at least alert us to the issues so they can be addressed... so knowing that, I think I probably sounded a bit annoyed but I certainly wasn't shouting!

    When he replied he nearly blew my hair off - it was like a hurricaine! :shocked

    :D Seriously though he left me shaking a bit... but I bit my tongue - thought i'd leave it and not react as didn't want to go all emotional woman....but now i'm not sure what to do?

    Is is best to leave it and play it cool...then escalate if it happens again? ...should I talk to him about it?

    Apologies for the long absence and then coming back with a moan but I thought people's opinions on here would be ideal as you all work in similar environments!

    Cheers in advance :biggrin,

    Lee
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2011
    Certifications: MCP, MCDST, ITIL v3, MBCS, others...
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  2. greenbrucelee
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    greenbrucelee Zettabyte Poster

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    Well men talk like that to each other all the time (well they do in my place), but when a man does it to a woman thats not right in my opinion. If he does that again I would inform a supervisor if possible especially if it escalates.

    Personally if I saw a man do that to a woman he'd get a slap
     
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  3. danielno8

    danielno8 Gigabyte Poster

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    sounds like he realised he had cocked up again and took it out on you.

    I'd give him a bit of time to hopefully realise he was wrong for reacting like that, give him time to apologise (since you have already bit your tongue, you might as well hang off saying anything until he has had some time to reflect).

    If he doesn't say apologise or tries to act like nothing happened, just pull him aside if you feel comfortable enough to do so and tell him his reaction was out of order and you won't let it go next time.
     
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  4. zebulebu

    zebulebu Terabyte Poster

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    Next time he does it, tell him to shut his f***ing mouth - and if he ever talks to you like that again you'll either tell his supervisor, or cave his head in with a keyboard.
     
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  5. greenbrucelee
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    greenbrucelee Zettabyte Poster

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    lol I was trying to say that in a nice way, but in reality I would do it like that :D
     
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  6. TheITCrowd

    TheITCrowd Kilobyte Poster

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    Ditto on above. In my former life (none I.T) I sometimes spoke like that when under pressure or I knew I had fuxxed up lol I would calm down later and apologise, so if he apologises I would accept but tell him you will not stand for that type of attitude again.

    I have since calmed down and realise what a total idiot I used to be....

    Life is to short:biggrin
     
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  7. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

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    Some people don't deal with pressure well.

    It's always worth remembering that it's their problem, not yours.

    :biggrin
     
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  8. Theprof

    Theprof Petabyte Poster Forum Leader

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    I personally don't let people talk to me that way... If someone even tries to pull that on me, I would shut them down right away before it gets any worse. I don't mean violence, just standing up for yourself regardless of who's right or wrong. To say the least even if you were wrong, what he did is wrong no matter how hard he tries to justify it.

    I've had encounters with sales people where I work and to say the least, they never tried this sh**t on me again...
     
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  9. Leehaa

    Leehaa Gigabyte Poster

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    Groovy.

    Thanks for all the advice - heh! Zeb I'd have an awesome time trying out your suggestion but where I work i'd definitely be chucked out for that - they are a reasonably "formal" place, which is why I was surprised with todays event!

    Yeah...he probably was realising that he messd up. Will leave it...see if he apologises...then take it up if it happens again...I might mention in "casual" conversation to my manager the fact that he's not informing us of certain issues though as it's an unnecessary strain on the rest of us.

    So glad I bit my tongue earlier!

    Cheers,

    Lee
     
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  10. jk2447

    jk2447 Petabyte Poster Moderator

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    Its passed now so I would forget it personally because the guy sounds a bit short on people skills/brain cells. Hopefully it was a one off but if he ever did it again I'd calmly say that you said nothing the first time he talked to you that way but that you wont accept it again. I'd then report him to H.R. Thats if I were you in that situation. Or you might want to do what I'd do, calmly tell him you will see him outside of work tonight to discuss it off works property.
     
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  11. michael78

    michael78 Terabyte Poster

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    unfortunately a lot of people in IT have no people skills whatsoever but I would probably lock him in the server room and set the fire suppression off and gas the muppet.
     
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  12. Gav

    Gav Kilobyte Poster

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  13. jk2447

    jk2447 Petabyte Poster Moderator

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    Ha ha ah the good old Halon days, I miss em :)
     
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  14. Solkazo

    Solkazo Bit Poster

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    If it was me spoken to in that manner i would let it slide in the sense of not telling a supervisor and give him the benefit of the doubt. We all get stressed and it just depends how its handled.

    But i would defiantly pick them up on it and remind them that they don’t have the authority to speak to you in such a manor.

    If they decide to cause conflict - report it to the supervisor :)
     
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  15. Mariusz

    Mariusz Byte Poster

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    I didn't bother to read all you wrote as it is too long and too boring.

    I was working with woman that was very "polite" smiling to everybody, making stupid polite wannabe conversations by asking ridiculous questions, and grassing everybody for anything. She talks a lot, she's brown nose and grass and first grasses then thinks, and after five minutes from grassing is like an "angel" for grassed person, polite etc like nothing ever happened.

    On the beginning everybody liked her, but after a year or two everybody had enough, her mouth doesn't shut for longer than 5-10 seconds, always has something to tell. People are leaving staff room because are sick of her stupid questions like "did you buy something nice recently" and so on, and she goes with questions (like "have you been to Marks and Spencers recently" and even If I've been, so what?) from one person to another, ... like a ****ing question circle. People never invite her anymore and hide the fact they go out, as they don't want her to spoil their plans.

    So maybe you talk a lot as well and it is annoying for others. Think about it. Talk less, and only when you have something to say.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2011
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  16. alicat

    alicat Nibble Poster

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    I can't believe you just suggested that. She was raising an issue with him about work, where he had failed to get something sorted out. She has every right to do that, and he was the one out of order by shouting and being abusive.
     
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  17. Apexes

    Apexes Gigabyte Poster

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    :blink:blink:blink

    A little bit of a harsh statement, no?

    She quite clearly did have something to say, and for a valid reason - if i was in the same situation as her and that situation with a call coming in got out of hand, i'd have a word! Lee's quite clearly looking to do something about it, so asked for advice - nothing wrong with that, don't shoot her down for it. And i don't think your in a position to judge her working ethics and tell her to "Talk less, and only when you have something to say" - I'd have gone mental if somebody said that to myself.

    If you didn't read it, because it was "Too long and too boring" then in my book you can't possibly comment on the thread.
     
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  18. Mariusz

    Mariusz Byte Poster

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    I didn't read her story, to be honest, it seemed long and boring :-)
    and it's hard to judge the situation knowing opinion of only one side
     
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  19. Apexes

    Apexes Gigabyte Poster

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    :blink - seriously, lame - if you dont read the thread, dont reply
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2011
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  20. alicat

    alicat Nibble Poster

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    If you haven't read the post why are you contributing then?
     
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