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What if GM had kept up with MS....

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by punkboy101, Jan 15, 2005.

  1. punkboy101
    Honorary Member

    punkboy101 Back from the wilderness

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    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
    computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
    with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
    driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen all the windows before you could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case, you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.

    6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on five percent of the roads.

    7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

    8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

    9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before deploying.

    10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

    12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate the same as in the old car.

    13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
     
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  2. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    An oldie but goodie, Andy :D
     
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  3. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

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    Just too true.:D
     
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  4. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Be interesting to hear a Linux slant on this one too ... :hhhmmm
     
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