Werewolves of CertForums

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In these glum times, what better way to pass the time than with some rhymes? My words are gold, silken and bold, and if we work together we can surely solve these wolfen crimes.

“Here lives a salesman named Jonny,
People said his carts were quite funny-
With only three wheels, he’d give you a deal,
And sell you a horse that’s a pony.”

“There goes woodmaster G,
Who gets all our wood from a tree-
He hears noises at night, Oh what a fright!
He must have heard Jonny and my sister Marie”

“Now at the church is father JK,
A saintly man of the cloth by day-
A night in the dark, he wanders bare-stark,
And frightens the girlies away!”

“In the town square lives Twizzle,
A lumpy young lad like gristle-
He picks his nose, and twiddles his toes,
And tickles his bum with a thistle”

i thank you /bow

Cumber the "Wandering Minstrel"

 

Cumber, this is the first Werewolf game I've ever moderated, so over the course of the game, I would be interested to know how well you think I'm doing. Thanks!

 

Ahahahhahah!!! Absolute gold! Repped!!!

 

Repped for genius.

 

This is the first online one i've done, but if its anything like the card game even if stuff starts to go crazy its a blast! But will do BM- for now i'll keep my lute tuned and my tongue sharp

 

And I in turn will keep my wits about me and my axe sharp. Careful what tales you tell, knave.

 

Come please, sit and relax as i spin a yarn; listen to my tale about abominations! horrors! Hairy beasts! And before you quip, I mean not the women of this fair village:

I mean the legend of those whose veins carry the blood of another, a beast within a beast. The spine-chilling stories of the lycan!

(Disclaimer: I heard these tales off of another minstrel, in another town, no where near here... its all just hearsay and old wives' tales. I mean- who believes in werewolves? )

 

Minstrel! Do not dare to utter its name!

Have you no fear?

You say you heard from another, somewhere else. Perhaps it is you who brings the horror! No?

 

Exactly right! They're just folk tales! After all... nobody from THIS village has ever been killed by a werewolf!

(...at least, not until 7 more people sign up... )

 

Gasp! But i am too stringy and fanciful to be such a beast!

I fear i may have to retreat to Grooby's for some 'company' to mend my torn esteem. That, or i might go and join Mac in the town square- he always seems such a jolly fellow with his bottles of 'mystery tonic'

 

Have my order waiting barkeep- A thimble of strong sherry and an ink'd quill if you will! I have coin and odes to recite. I fear it could be a big month for obituary writing....

 

Oi! Oi'll ave you nose oi aint all gristle, oi'm some gizzards as well. And when oi pick me nose i get green and red stuff come out. I can twiddle all twelve hairy toes, well least i thinks its twelve. Oi cant count so good sinc ethe knock to me head a a babe. And that aint no thistle. I'm and eejit not stoopid ya nose! Its a chicken i uses.

 

My apologies, lumpy friend. Let me recount your entry:

"In the town square lives Twizzle,
A lumpy young lad like gristle (and gizzards)-
He got a knock to the head, some thought he were dead,
And now he tickles his bum with a chicken"

wait.. you tickle your bum with a chicken?!

 

Fixed.

 

And I will keep my prices so low, you'll think I'm the village eejut.

All carts now with sun roof!!!

 

(To the tune of 'Lets all go to the lobby..' from cinema trailers)

Lets all go to Jonny's, and buy ourselves a cart!'


If that jingle is used royalties are required

 

Oi! you be tryin to take moi jaab? being eejit is a way o life not just a ocupa... ocuppa... a jaab!

Wish i could ave one of those rooves with a sun, or a kart to sleep under. insted oi sleep in dey aystacks.

 

'Tis a good jingle.

Better than my current slogan which is 'Buy a cart at Jonny's - it'll change your life'.
For some reason that one keeps generating false expectations in me customers.

Unfortunately there was a bard here just five minutes ago who promised me a better jingle.
Whole verse, he said.
That'll be him coming back now.