Very funny and strangely true.

Discussion in 'The Lounge - Off Topic' started by cazzam35, Jan 14, 2005.

  1. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

    445
    2
    44
    :twisted: :twisted: Very funny and strangely true.

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want..
    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = I need to complain
    7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
    10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
    11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
    13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
    14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
    15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be
    obvious by now
    16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever
    think about?
    17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a
    good game on TV
    18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that
    you're really not going to like


    MEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
    8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex
    with you
    11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex
    with you
    12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for
    other men to have sex with you
    13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to
    have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
    14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that
    I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you. 15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
    WIP: Curr/Supervisor/Duty Mgr/Retail DIY
  2. AJ

    AJ 01000001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01101110 Administrator

    6,897
    182
    221
    ROTFLMAO




    You do realise that you die today when Rosie gets in :rolleyes:
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCSA (messaging), ITIL Foundation v3
    WIP: Breathing in and out, but not out and in, that's just wrong
  3. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

    445
    2
    44
    If you read it properly its not against women, it's actually against us blokes lol
    Hopefully she'll see the funny side.
    Then again I can always change my user name, address and telephone number, and wear a disguise rotflmao :p
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
    WIP: Curr/Supervisor/Duty Mgr/Retail DIY
  4. Rosy
    Honorary Member

    Rosy Megabyte Poster

    665
    1
    54
    Yep - that all sounds about right! :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MOS Master Instructor
  5. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

    445
    2
    44
    Hiya Rosy, I'm not cazzam35, he's not around anymore, or should I say someone stole his ID and put that posting up above? Someone must have hacked the site or something?

    As if i'd (sorry I mean he'd) do something like that!

    The nerve of it really lmao :blink

    As from today i'll be called Mr invisible........
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
    WIP: Curr/Supervisor/Duty Mgr/Retail DIY
  6. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    9,924
    74
    229
    LOL Nice one :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  7. SimonV
    Honorary Member

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Gold Member

    6,651
    180
    258
    ROFL :) :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MOS Master 2003, CompTIA A+, MCSA:M, MCSE
    WIP: Keeping CF Alive...
  8. Rosy
    Honorary Member

    Rosy Megabyte Poster

    665
    1
    54
    Hmmmm :dry

    So whatdya think guys - should I give him a whippin for the joke or for telling blatent lies?! :twisted:
     
    Certifications: MOS Master Instructor
  9. SimonV
    Honorary Member

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Gold Member

    6,651
    180
    258
    Errr BOTH....:)
     
    Certifications: MOS Master 2003, CompTIA A+, MCSA:M, MCSE
    WIP: Keeping CF Alive...
  10. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

    5,749
    200
    246
    no brainer rosy dear
    DOUBLE WHIPPAGE!
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCITP, VCP
    WIP: > 0
  11. AJ

    AJ 01000001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01101110 Administrator

    6,897
    182
    221
    A whipping, a whipping :twisted:
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCSA (messaging), ITIL Foundation v3
    WIP: Breathing in and out, but not out and in, that's just wrong
  12. Phil
    Honorary Member

    Phil Gigabyte Poster

    1,680
    7
    87
    :D flog his hide
     
    Certifications: MCSE:M & S MCSA:M CCNA CNA
    WIP: 2003 Upgrade, CCNA Upgrade
  13. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

    7,796
    71
    224
    What lies Rosy? They're all true!!

    Give him a whipping anyway.[​IMG]
     
    Certifications: A+ | Network+ | Security+ | MCP (270,271,272,290,620) | MCDST | MCTS:Vista
    WIP: MCSA, 70-622,680,685
  14. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

    13,493
    180
    287
    ROTFLMAO!!!! I've been married for over 20 years and I can tell you from experience that the above in incredibly true. :D
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  15. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    9,924
    74
    229
    <In best Monty Python voice ....>


    A DOUBLE whippin' ? The lucky, LUCKY bleeder !!!! :ohmy

    LOL :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  16. AJ

    AJ 01000001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01101110 Administrator

    6,897
    182
    221
    and after the whipping the o*** **x (note to self DON'T GO THERE)
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCSA (messaging), ITIL Foundation v3
    WIP: Breathing in and out, but not out and in, that's just wrong
  17. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

    13,493
    180
    287
    You really know how to shoot yourself in the foot. :blink
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  18. AJ

    AJ 01000001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01101110 Administrator

    6,897
    182
    221
    Hopping along there Trip
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCSA (messaging), ITIL Foundation v3
    WIP: Breathing in and out, but not out and in, that's just wrong
  19. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

    445
    2
    44
    Thanks for the support and backing lads.

    thinks ( who needs enemies eh - really?) NOT rotflmao

    As for the initial posting which as i've already said, my account
    MUST have been hacked, but can any man woman or child
    actually stand up here and say it isn't all true? Come on....

    WILL ALL YOU BLOKES GET OUT FROM HIDING BEHIND THE TOILET SEAT ( which should be put down after use?? Yeah
    we've all been there lads!!!) and stick up for yourselves eh?

    Stand up and fight like men, being pushed around by women and
    doing everything to keep them happy?? God's sake men!!

    As for me, i've just spent 12 hours at work, made tea, cleaned,
    polished and hoovered, sorted out my daughter and fed and
    cleaned the dogs up. sorted the shopping and done all the
    washing and the ironing, and hung it all up.........

    As I said it's about time you stopped being under the thumb and
    stand up to these feeble little women..

    oops gotto go the wife wants to check out the male stripper
    web site and who am i to argue really, I'll catch you all some
    time when I'm allowed back on my computer.

    (Yes hun, i'm coming off in a minute just checking some new
    recipes for tea for you, lmao)
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
    WIP: Curr/Supervisor/Duty Mgr/Retail DIY
  20. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

    445
    2
    44
    I read recently in another post that your 23???


    :duel :duel

    And you dare talk about me lying,
    cos i've seen your photo young lady.....





    And you don't look a day over 19 , so who's lying now then?

    :tune






    How can such a sweet and beautiful young woman like
    yourself bring such fear to the hearts of us blokes????

    :devilflam






    Hope this helps or i've just dug a very big hole to die in?

    :rolleyes:

    ROTFLMAO X2


    :behead :hang
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
    WIP: Curr/Supervisor/Duty Mgr/Retail DIY

Share This Page

Loading...
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.