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Very funny and strangely true.

Discussion in 'The Lounge - Off Topic' started by cazzam35, Jan 14, 2005.

  1. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    :twisted: :twisted: Very funny and strangely true.

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want..
    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = I need to complain
    7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
    10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
    11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
    13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
    14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
    15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be
    obvious by now
    16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever
    think about?
    17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a
    good game on TV
    18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that
    you're really not going to like


    MEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
    8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex
    with you
    11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex
    with you
    12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for
    other men to have sex with you
    13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to
    have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
    14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that
    I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you. 15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
     
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  2. AJ

    AJ Administrator Administrator

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    ROTFLMAO




    You do realise that you die today when Rosie gets in :rolleyes:
     
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  3. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    If you read it properly its not against women, it's actually against us blokes lol
    Hopefully she'll see the funny side.
    Then again I can always change my user name, address and telephone number, and wear a disguise rotflmao :p
     
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  4. Rosy
    Honorary Member

    Rosy Megabyte Poster

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    Yep - that all sounds about right! :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MOS Master Instructor
  5. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    Hiya Rosy, I'm not cazzam35, he's not around anymore, or should I say someone stole his ID and put that posting up above? Someone must have hacked the site or something?

    As if i'd (sorry I mean he'd) do something like that!

    The nerve of it really lmao :blink

    As from today i'll be called Mr invisible........
     
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  6. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    LOL Nice one :biggrin
     
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  7. SimonV

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Administrator

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    ROFL :) :biggrin
     
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  8. Rosy
    Honorary Member

    Rosy Megabyte Poster

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    Hmmmm :dry

    So whatdya think guys - should I give him a whippin for the joke or for telling blatent lies?! :twisted:
     
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  9. SimonV

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Administrator

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    Errr BOTH....:)
     
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  10. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

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    no brainer rosy dear
    DOUBLE WHIPPAGE!
     
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  11. AJ

    AJ Administrator Administrator

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    A whipping, a whipping :twisted:
     
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  12. Phil
    Honorary Member

    Phil Gigabyte Poster

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    :D flog his hide
     
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  13. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

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    What lies Rosy? They're all true!!

    Give him a whipping anyway.[​IMG]
     
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  14. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    ROTFLMAO!!!! I've been married for over 20 years and I can tell you from experience that the above in incredibly true. :D
     
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  15. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    <In best Monty Python voice ....>


    A DOUBLE whippin' ? The lucky, LUCKY bleeder !!!! :ohmy

    LOL :biggrin
     
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  16. AJ

    AJ Administrator Administrator

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    and after the whipping the o*** **x (note to self DON'T GO THERE)
     
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  17. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    You really know how to shoot yourself in the foot. :blink
     
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  18. AJ

    AJ Administrator Administrator

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    Hopping along there Trip
     
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  19. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    Thanks for the support and backing lads.

    thinks ( who needs enemies eh - really?) NOT rotflmao

    As for the initial posting which as i've already said, my account
    MUST have been hacked, but can any man woman or child
    actually stand up here and say it isn't all true? Come on....

    WILL ALL YOU BLOKES GET OUT FROM HIDING BEHIND THE TOILET SEAT ( which should be put down after use?? Yeah
    we've all been there lads!!!) and stick up for yourselves eh?

    Stand up and fight like men, being pushed around by women and
    doing everything to keep them happy?? God's sake men!!

    As for me, i've just spent 12 hours at work, made tea, cleaned,
    polished and hoovered, sorted out my daughter and fed and
    cleaned the dogs up. sorted the shopping and done all the
    washing and the ironing, and hung it all up.........

    As I said it's about time you stopped being under the thumb and
    stand up to these feeble little women..

    oops gotto go the wife wants to check out the male stripper
    web site and who am i to argue really, I'll catch you all some
    time when I'm allowed back on my computer.

    (Yes hun, i'm coming off in a minute just checking some new
    recipes for tea for you, lmao)
     
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  20. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    I read recently in another post that your 23???


    :duel :duel

    And you dare talk about me lying,
    cos i've seen your photo young lady.....





    And you don't look a day over 19 , so who's lying now then?

    :tune






    How can such a sweet and beautiful young woman like
    yourself bring such fear to the hearts of us blokes????

    :devilflam






    Hope this helps or i've just dug a very big hole to die in?

    :rolleyes:

    ROTFLMAO X2


    :behead :hang
     
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