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TWO MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by tripwire45, Jul 6, 2005.

  1. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    TWO MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

    Lesson One
    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle
    and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure,
    why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
    sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Management Lesson- To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
    high up.

    Lesson Two
    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of
    that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. ""Well, why don't you
    nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength
    to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung,
    he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly
    perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him
    out of the tree.

    Management Lesson - Bull s-h-i-t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

    Lesson Three
    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and
    fell to the ground into a large field.
    While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen
    bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The
    dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began
    to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
    Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
    promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Management Lesson When you're in deep s-h-i-t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

    Management Lesson Overview
    1.. To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
    2.. Bull s-h-i-t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
    3.. Not everyone who s-h-i-t-s on you is your enemy.
    4.. Not everyone who gets you out of s-h-i-t is your friend.
    5.. And when you're in deep s-h-i-t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

    This ends your two minute management course.
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  2. AJ

    AJ Administrator Administrator

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    Priceless Trip :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCSA (messaging), ITIL Foundation v3
    WIP: Looking at doing ..................
  3. KeithNN

    KeithNN Byte Poster

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    Awesome! :D That is printed out, up on our office wall as I type!!! :rocks :clap
     
    Certifications: MCSA/MCSE, MCDST, MOS Mstr, Sec+,Net+,A+
    WIP: 70-284
  4. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    Now if your HR Department starts basing management seminars on it, you'll know you've started something. :biggrin
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+

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