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TOP 20 Things You Shouldn't Say While Working The Help Desk

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by tripwire45, Feb 20, 2006.

  1. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

    20. Tell the caller that you went online pretending to be a transvestite: Had cybersex with Eddie Murphy

    19. "Still not used to this whole electricity thing, huh?

    18. Proclaim your undying love.

    17. Advise the customer to lick the power supply.

    16. "So, what are you wearing?"

    15. Constantly refer to caller as "Stupid Pumpkin."

    14. As you look up a part number, whistle loudly in a monotone.

    13. "You've got to be kidding."

    12. "What you do is get yourself $50 and go and buy a clue.

    11. Use baby talk.

    10. "I don't get paid enough to deal with jerks like you."

    9. Ridicule the inadequacy of the caller's system.

    8. "Yo no hablo ingles."

    7. Use metaphors based on your experiences with rabid dogs.

    6. Laugh maniacally.

    5. Twist the callers words to make it seem as if there is no problem.

    4. "You're screwed. You're just screwed."

    3. Encourage the caller to pound on the CPU casing.

    2. Constantly refer to caller as "Stupid Hobbit."

    1. "How the hell did you get access to a computer?"

    http://www.thenetworkadministrator.com/TOP20ThingsHelp Desk.htm
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  2. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    LOL - I like them, Trip :biggrin

    I wonder how many of the callers I get realise that when I am listening sagely and quietly to their woes, that I am actually rolling the smokes for my next break/lunch/hometime. :tongue
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  3. The_Geek

    The_Geek Megabyte Poster

    I came into work this morning to discover a coworker not at his desk. Thinking he may just be coming in late, I didn't think anything about it.

    Along lunch time, I noticed he still wasn't there. So as my manager walked my, I inquired as to his whereabouts.

    "Oh, we had to let him go" I was told, which floored me as this guy was extremely smart.

    "What? Why?" was me reply.

    I was told that he said to a customer, and I quote this:

    Certifications: CompTIA and Micro$oft
    WIP: PDI+
  4. aao_pwner

    aao_pwner Bit Poster

    well, this may be offtopic, or ontopic i dont know, has to do with indians on phones lol.

    If a telemarketer calls, and he's from india, try to act like your extremely illeterate, also when he asks you "how's your day sir," say your dog died and your mom died and stuff like that and just give him a runover of your life and when he tries to stop the conversation dont let him. Also act semi-interested in what he's selling then go strait to trying to sell him somthing.

    That's one way to waste time, at least, that's what i do.

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