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Top 10 signs you're a Fundamentalist...

Discussion in 'The Lounge - Off Topic' started by Aureilius, Mar 2, 2006.

  1. Aureilius

    Aureilius Byte Poster

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    10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

    9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

    8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

    7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

    6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

    5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

    4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

    3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

    2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

    1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

    http://www.evilbible.com/Top_Ten_List.htm
     
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  2. _omni_

    _omni_ Megabyte Poster

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    hmmm...lots of generalization and out-of-context stuff. :rolleyes:
     
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  3. Luddym

    Luddym Megabyte Poster

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    Nevertheless, a nice post. :)

    Doesn't society today always generalise religions and the followers of those said religions?

    :blink
     
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  4. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    Well...there are plenty of inaccuracies in the "top ten list". Keep in mind that we are a multinational site comprised of quite a "mixed bag" of members. Not everyone involved in IT is an atheist or humanist. :wink:
     
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  5. kat731
    Honorary Member

    kat731 Megabyte Poster

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    What??????????????????????
     
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  6. Bluerinse
    Honorary Member

    Bluerinse Exabyte Poster

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    Hmm, i am not a devout Christian in any way shape or form, but i do strongly believe in live and let live and i see no point or anything to be gained, at all, in nit picking other people's beliefs. Many people, including quite a few on this forum gain a lot of solace and spiritual reward and more from having faith in *their* chosen religion. If that religion is not for you then fine, go and find one that does fit in with your existing beliefs and hopefully nobody will pour ridicule and scorn on you for doing so.

    Also, religion is one of those topics usually avoided on mature forums because regardless of what you say, there is always a chance somebody could take offense and we are not here to offend people, are we?
     
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  7. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    Who dug this one up out of the closet? :rolleyes:
     
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  8. Bluerinse
    Honorary Member

    Bluerinse Exabyte Poster

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    It was that feral Kat digging up rotten stuff in the CF garden again :biggrin
     
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  9. Crito

    Crito Banned

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    How about a few signs you're a liberal?

    1) You believe mankind is the only intelligent life in the universe. And the universe rotates around your opinion.
    2) Despite having gene spliced a human ear onto the back of a mouse, there's absolutely no possibility of outside interference in human "evolution".
    3) You don't want to hear about solar flare activity or global warming on Mars because it would shatter your entire belief system.
    4) You think Democracy means "majority rules" and are eager to pass legislation preventing those who hold minority opinions from voting.
    5) You think the solution to the energy crisis is more and more conservation until eventually we're all living in the woods and eating berries. Increasing domestic energy production is never an option.

    I'm sure half a dozen more will come to me as soon as I hit the "submit reply" button...
     
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  10. Headache

    Headache Gigabyte Poster

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    Here's a more interesting list.

    Top ten signs that you're a nymphomaniac.

    1 ...
     
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  11. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    6) If a liberal expresses an opinion, it's free speech. If a conservative expresses an opinion, they are trying to shove their belief system down your throat.

    Headache, you'll have to see if Si, Gav, or AJ would be willing to create an "adults only" forum if you intend to add items to your list. :D
     
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  12. Crito

    Crito Banned

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    For the record, I'm an atheist and a libertarian. So I could really argue from either side of the fence. Libertarians are socially more liberal than liberals and fiscally more conservative than conservatives. I personally don't understand how Democrats can criminilaze tabacco use and then call themselves "liberal" nor do I understand how Republicans can create huge centralized bureaucracies and then call themselves "conservative." IMHO, all this centrist "bipartisanism" is just another name for a one-party state and by definition such a system can not be a democracy.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-party_state
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-partisan_democracy

    So here's one for the other side:

    11) You believe God is deeply concerned about your material well-being but won't even consider the possibility you've actually made a pact with the Great Deceiver.

    Oh, I also happen to have a certificate in religious studies from the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of North and South America. :o
     
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  13. Headache

    Headache Gigabyte Poster

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    To be honest, I don't have a lot of patience with liberals. All they seem to be doing most of the time is protesting and rabble-rousing and demonstrating.

    http://www.zombietime.com/us_out_of_iraq_now_sf_3-18-2007/

    Left to me, the whole lot of them would be rounded up and sent off Guantanamo.
     
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