Thought I'd shared these with you... 1

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>Women's Humour
>
>
>My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
>other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good
>mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a f*cking great
>red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
>
>My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, 'This will make
>you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I
>squirted it all over the doorknob. He couldn't get back in.
>
>
>A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
>happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you"
>
>Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>A: A rumour.
>
>He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to
>you really badly.
>She said - Well, you've succeeded.
>
>He said - 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'.
>She said - 'That's a good idea.....you stand by the ironing board while
>I sit on the sofa and fart'.
>
>He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?'
>She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat b*stard'.
>
>Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
>A: 45 minutes.
>
>Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>
>Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
>A: They can't stand criticism.
>
>Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
>and good looking?
>A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
>
>Q: What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying?
>A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
>driving.
>
>Q: What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head?
>A: Reload and try again