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Thought I'd shared these with you... 1

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by wagnerk, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. wagnerk
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    wagnerk aka kitkatninja Moderator

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    >Women's Humour
    >
    >
    >My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
    >other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good
    >mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a f*cking great
    >red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
    >
    >My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, 'This will make
    >you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I
    >squirted it all over the doorknob. He couldn't get back in.
    >
    >
    >A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
    >happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you"
    >
    >Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    >A: A rumour.
    >
    >He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to
    >you really badly.
    >She said - Well, you've succeeded.
    >
    >He said - 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'.
    >She said - 'That's a good idea.....you stand by the ironing board while
    >I sit on the sofa and fart'.
    >
    >He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?'
    >She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat b*stard'.
    >
    >Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    >A: 45 minutes.
    >
    >Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    >A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
    >
    >Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
    >A: They can't stand criticism.
    >
    >Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
    >and good looking?
    >A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
    >
    >Q: What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying?
    >A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
    >driving.
    >
    >Q: What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head?
    >A: Reload and try again
     
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  2. Headache

    Headache Gigabyte Poster

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