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Things you find in your spam filiters

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Gingerdave, Oct 12, 2009.

  1. Gingerdave

    Gingerdave Megabyte Poster

    As we all know occasionally you get some good, funny emails that are stuck in the spam filters that you want to let through but you cant due to company policy, so assuming they are funny post them here so atleast we get to share in the fun.

    I will lead off:

    Posted to Craig's List / Personals:

    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 A M EST. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend threatening our lifes. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment, I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... Isn't it! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare footed since I made you leave your your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

    After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

    Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... But I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
    Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

    Thoughtfully yours,
    P.S. Remember this motto...An armed society makes for a more civil society!
    Certifications: A+,MCP, MCDST, VCP5 /VCP-DV 5, MCTS AD+ Net Inf 2008, MCSA 2008
    WIP: MCSA 2012
  2. Mr.Cheeks

    Mr.Cheeks 1st ever Gold Member! Gold Member

  3. Theprof

    Theprof Petabyte Poster Forum Leader

    Certifications: A+ | CCA | CCAA | Network+ | MCDST | MCSA | MCP (270, 271, 272, 290, 291) | MCTS (70-662, 70-663) | MCITP:EMA | VCA-DCV/Cloud/WM | VTSP | VCP5-DT | VCP5-DCV
  4. Geekzilla

    Geekzilla Nibble Poster

    rofl !
    Certifications: None, Yet
    WIP: Comptia A+
  5. Shinigami

    Shinigami Megabyte Poster

    A good urban legend which brings a chuckle every time it gets read. Kinda like the youtube video filmed by two guys in a truck when they followed a convertible owner to some secluded area, and after confronting him, the convertible owner pulls a gun out, takes the camera and drives away... also staged, but amusing.
    Certifications: MCSE, MCITP, MCDST, MOS, CIW, Comptia
    WIP: Win7/Lync2010/MCM
  6. Gingerdave

    Gingerdave Megabyte Poster

    I know this one was clealy a myth but a fun one.
    Certifications: A+,MCP, MCDST, VCP5 /VCP-DV 5, MCTS AD+ Net Inf 2008, MCSA 2008
    WIP: MCSA 2012

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