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The wonderful world of Dell, part 838477589

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by zebulebu, Nov 17, 2008.

  1. zebulebu

    zebulebu Terabyte Poster

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    <snip>
    ring ring... ring ring... ring ring

    Hi, this is Dell technical support, how may I help you today

    You guys sent me a replacement for a failed HDD last week, which I've installed. I've now received an email from you saying that I am going to be charged because the original drive wasn't returned upon delivery of the new one.

    OK - why didn't you give the failed drive to the courier?

    Because the courier disappeared after delivering it to building reception before I got the chance to get down there

    Oh - but you should have left the failed drive down there for him to collect

    No - I asked you to confirm your policy about data wiping prior to the delivery and you haven't got back to me yet

    OK - you should just wipe the disk before you give it to us then

    No - I told you that the disk has failed, Its not even detected as a disk in the BIOS, or by Dell's disk diagnostic software - how am I supposed to wipe the disk if I can't access it?

    Oh - so you can't see the drive in Windows?

    No - I can't see the drive at the hardware level - this is BEFORE it boots into Windows

    OK - so what do you think is wrong with the drive?


    Ummmm - I'm not sure - that's why I've asked for a replacement

    Oh - right, right, right. The drive is faulty and needs to be swapped out, right?

    No (patiently) the drive has already been swapped out. I just need you to tell me how you deal with wiping data from drives that can't be accessed to format them

    OK - please hold for Optiplex support.

    Do de do de do... Do de do de do de do de do de doooo... dee do de doo (insert more accurate approximation of 'Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence' here - repeat for ten minutes)

    Hello, you're through to Dell Optiplex support, how may I help you today...

    I need to know what your policy is on wiping sensitive data on disks that have been RMA'd to you. I have a disk that isn't

    Ah - you need to wipe the data yourself before returning the disk to us

    <snip>
    Repeat ad nauseum.
     
    Certifications: A few
    WIP: None - f*** 'em
  2. Fergal1982

    Fergal1982 Petabyte Poster

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    Strangely, I've just come off the phone with Dell where I bought a new PC through their Outlet store. The site hadnt recorded my card details and I needed to give it to them again.

    Lovely girl on the phone (that said, I'm sure it helps that the irish accents just plain do it for me).
     
    Certifications: ITIL Foundation; MCTS: Visual Studio Team Foundation Server 2010, Administration
    WIP: None at present
  3. flounder10

    flounder10 Nibble Poster

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    I haven't had any trouble with the Dell support. Not used them that many times, but they seemed to be pretty swift when i deal with them :)
     
    WIP: Net+, MCDST, MCSA, MCSE, CCNA, CCNP
  4. neutralhills

    neutralhills Kilobyte Poster

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    Why not just run it through a powerful degausser?
     
    Certifications: Lots.
    WIP: Upgrading MS certs
  5. grim

    grim Gigabyte Poster

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    open it up and remove the platters, they make great frisbies :)

    Grim
     
    Certifications: Bsc, 70-270, 70-290, 70-291, 70-293, 70-294, 70-298, 70-299, 70-620, 70-649, 70-680
    WIP: 70-646, 70-640
  6. zebulebu

    zebulebu Terabyte Poster

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    That's just what I'm going to do!

    Still not had an answer from 'em, and am NOT getting charged for non returning, so going to send it off to our data wipers before RMAing it
     
    Certifications: A few
    WIP: None - f*** 'em
  7. dales

    dales Gigabyte Poster

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    Yes must admit being a dell company I've never had any trouble with their support when stuff has gone bang but then again I rarely stray from the normal expected calls that may be on for example a script:rolleyes:
     
    Certifications: vExpert 2014+2015+2016,VCP-DT,CCE-V, CCE-AD, CCP-AD, CCEE, CCAA XenApp, CCA Netscaler, XenApp 6.5, XenDesktop 5 & Xenserver 6,VCP3+5,VTSP,MCSA MCDST MCP A+ ITIL F
    WIP: Nothing
  8. JonGlory

    JonGlory Byte Poster

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    For fault finding they use a script, once you have phone them a few times, you can do all the troubleshooting before that call, and be on the phone to them for less than 5 mins .
     
    WIP: LIFE
  9. zebulebu

    zebulebu Terabyte Poster

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    That part is never a problem. I'm on and off the phone withing five minutes every time. Its the logistics/dispatch that they never get right. Strange - cos with HP its the complete opposite - speaking to their tech 'support' was always a nightmare (for desktops & printers at least) for me - whereas I never once had a problem with their logistics. I think this is because they use TNT rather than ****tyLink (the worst courier company on Earth). Now TNT are crap as well, but I guess the value of the HP contract must have (ahem) 'focused their attention' on getting it right - whereas ****tyLink are so gash that they just don't care.
     
    Certifications: A few
    WIP: None - f*** 'em
  10. BosonMichael
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    BosonMichael Yottabyte Poster

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    With the last batch of computers I ordered from Dell, they gave me an option of keeping any failed drives that might contain confidential PHI. I can't remember if we had to pay a small premium for that privilege, but if so, it wasn't much - like, around $5ish.
     
    Certifications: CISSP, MCSE+I, MCSE: Security, MCSE: Messaging, MCDST, MCDBA, MCTS, OCP, CCNP, CCDP, CCNA Security, CCNA Voice, CNE, SCSA, Security+, Linux+, Server+, Network+, A+
    WIP: Just about everything!
  11. r.h.lee

    r.h.lee Gigabyte Poster

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    Since this _IS_ the "Just for Laughs" forum...

    neutralhills,

    That sounds DEGAUSSing! :p
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCP+I, MCP, CCNA, A+
    WIP: CCDA
  12. damo101

    damo101 Byte Poster

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    if you destroy the platters or degauss it good and proper will dell not try and do you for end user damage and charge you for the replacement? I worked for one of their call centres years ago and that'd be a typical stunt:rolleyes:
     
    Certifications: ITIL Foundation and Practitioner (S&R)
    WIP: OU Cert in Web Design

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